MIXED.--Under the heading "A Tragic Affair," it was recently stated in a paragraph, how "a Lady had been shot by a discharged Servant." It would have been better if the Servant, on being discharged, had gone off and injured nobody. * * * * * [Illustration: IN DIFFICULTIES. _Effie_ (_who can't make her sum come right_). "OH, I _DO_ WISH I WAS A RABBIT SO!" _Maud._ "WHAT FOR, DARLING?" _Effie._ "PAPA SAYS THEY _MULTIPLY_ SO QUICKLY!"] * * * * * THE _OTHER_ "WESTMINSTER STABLE." _Noble Owner_ (_watching the Favourite out for exercise_). Ah! don't look so bad, ARTHUR, after his spin! They are asking all round if he'll run, if he'll win. They would like much to know, I've no manner of doubt. Why, there isn't a Bookie, a Tipster, or Tout, Not to mention an Owner, or Trainer, or Vet, But desires the straight tip--which I wish they may get! If they knew he'd been "nobbled," they'd greatly rejoice; Then they'd back other cracks--_Dissolution_ for choice-- With a confident mind. "Nobbled!" Ah! were they able To get at his groom, or sneak into his stable, How gladly some of them would give him a dose! That's right, ARTHUR; watch him, my lad, and--keep close! _Trainer._ Ay, ay, Sir! They will not get much out of _me_, Sir! A still tongue to Tipsters and Touts is a teaser. They're awfully curious about _t'other_ horse; _Dissolution_, you know. Try to pump me. _Noble Owner._ Of course! Very natural, you know, _I_ should be, in their case. If they knew that this nag couldn't win the big race, Or was not meant to run, then their course would be clear. [_Espies_ Stranger _approaching._ Hillo! Not too near, ARTHUR! (_Aside._) Whom have we _here_? _Polite Stranger_ (_insinuatingly_). Beg pardon, my Lord! A bit out of my track. Missed my way. But--ahem!--is that really the "crack"? Why, he _looks_ cherry ripe--at a distance. I've heard All sorts of reports--gossips _are_ so absurd! But--_would_ you mind telling me--_has_ the Great Horse Been really--got at? _Entre nous_, mind!-- _Noble Owner_ (_drily_). Of course! _Dissolution's_ shy backers would much like to know. But--_tell them who sent you to ask--it's no go!_ [_Exit, leaving_ Polite Stranger _planté là._ * * * * * A LAY SERMON. (SUGGESTED BY CERTAIN RECENT MANIFESTATIONS OF THE NONCONFORMIST CONSCIENCE.)