Oh, very gloomy is this House of Woe, Where yawns are numerous while Big Ben is knelling. It is not on the Session dull and slow, These pale M.P.'s are dwelling. Oh, very, very dreary is the gloom, But M.P.'s heed not HEALY's elocution; Each one is wondering what may be his doom After the Dissolution! That House of Woe must soon be closed to all Who linger now therein with tedium mortal, And of those lingerers a proportion small Again may pass its portal. There's many a one who o'er its threshold stole In Eighty-Six's curious Party tangle, Who for the votes which helped him head the poll In vain again may angle. The GRAHAMS and the CALDWELLS may look bold, So may the CONYBEARES, and COBBS and TANNERS; But the next House quite other men may hold, And (let's hope) other manners. They'd like to know when this will close its door Upon each moribund and mournful Member, And who will stand upon the House's floor After, say, next November. That's why the M.P.'s sit in silent doubt, Why spirits flag, and cheeks are pale and livid, And why the DISSOLUTION SPOOK stands out So ominously vivid. Some key to the result of the appeal They yearn for vainly, all their nerves a-quiver; The presence of the Shadow they all feel, And sit, and brood, and shiver. There is a sombre rumour in the air, The shadow of a Presence dim, atrocious; No human creature can be festive there, Even the most ferocious. An Omen in the place there seems to be, Both sides with spectral perturbation covering. The straining eyeballs are prepared to see The Apparition hovering. With doubt, with fear, their features are o'ercast; SALISBURY at Covent Garden might have spoken, But, save for Rumour's whispers on the blast, The silence is unbroken. And over all there hangs a cloud of fear, The Spook of Dissolution all has daunted, And says as plain as whisper in the ear, The House is Haunted! * * * * * [Illustration: SOCIAL PROBLEMS NOT HAPPILY SOLVED. _Husband._ "OH, SIR JOHN, SO GLAD YOU HAVE CALLED!--AND SO KIND OF LADY DASHWOOD TO HAVE ASKED us TO HER PARTY!--BUT WE ARE QUITE IN A FIX WHEN TO COME, BECAUSE THE CARD SAYS 'EARLY AND LATE.'" _Sir John._ "OH, I THINK I CAN TELL YOU. SEND YOUR WIFE VERY EARLY INDEED, AND YOU CAN COME AS LATE AS YOU LIKE!" _Husband_ (_who does not quite see it_). "THANKS! THANKS! VERY MANY THANKS!"] * * * * * OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.