_Saturday_.--Great excitement in outer Hall. Everybody buzzing about. What has happened? Has dynamite been found? Has some eminent vocalist "gone up to see," and can't come down again in time? Sir DRURIOLANUS is present, explaining matters to the critics, and repeating explanation in various tongues to eager foreign inquirers. The sentinels eye the moving scene with determination and bayonets fixed. At a word from Sir DRURIOLANUS, they will give an extra charge, and rout the crowd. "What is it all about?" asks little PETERKIN. Sir DRURIOLANUS can tell him. Madame CALVÉ is indisposed, and _L'Amico Fritz_ cannot be performed. So GLUCK's _Orfeo_ is substituted in a happy-g'lucky sort of way. The two RAVOGLI are excellent, and Box and Stall are satisfied. * * * * * OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. "MRS. HENNIKER," my Baronite writes, "dedicates to her brother, Lord HOUGHTON, her first essay in fiction, on the ground that he will be the most kindly critic. _Bid me Good-bye_ (BENTLEY) does not stand in need of the adventitious aid of fraternal kindliness to recommend it to the reader. The story of woman's sacrifice to a sense of duty has been told before; but Mrs. HENNIKER endows her version with a charm of simplicity under which, here and there, glows the fire of passion. Moreover, she writes excellent English, which ladies who make books do sometimes. It is a pity the story is so sad. _Colonel St. Aubyn_ might just as well have married _Mary Giffard_, and lived ever after in that charming Brereton Royal which Mrs. HENNIKER doubtless sketches from life. If she had insisted on his being a cripple for life, her dictum could not have been disputed. But there ought to have been a union between _William_ and _Mary_." * * * * * Why are the Obstructives like last Season's Walnuts?--Because they are troublesome to PEEL. * * * * * [Illustration: VOLO EPISCOPARI. _Festive Middy_. "I SAY, GUV'NOR! I THINK YOU MUST RATHER LIKE BEING BISHOP HERE!" _His Lordship_. "WELL, MY BOY, I HOPE I DO! BUT WHY DO YOU ASK?" _Festive Middy_. "OH, I'VE JUST BEEN TAKING A WALK THROUGH THE CITY, AND--I _SAY_!--THERE _IS_ AN UNCOMMONLY GOOD-LOOKING LOT O' GIRLS ABOUT, AND _NO_ MISTAKE!"] * * * * * TO LORD SALISBURY. (_BY A PERTURBED TORY_.) ["We trust that the present Administration will not commit the blunder of attempting to 'gain favour with this or that section of the constituencies, by indulging in loose talk on economical questions.'"--_The Standard_.]