DEAR MISTER PUNCH,--Look at 'ere! This is not one of your penny papers--there was none on 'em in _my_ time--ups and says, says it:--"The travelling expenses from America of Mr. JACKSON, who is coming to England to fight Mr. SLAVIN for the Championship of the World, are reckoned at no less than £150." Wy, wot a delikit plarnt, wot a blooming hexotic, this "Mister" JACKSON (oh, the pooty perliteness of it!) must be! Saloon passage and fust-class fare, I persoom, for the likes of _'im_. Isters and champagne, no doubt, and liquoor brandy, and sixpenny smokes! A poor old pug like me wos glad of a steak and inguns, and a 'arf ounce o' shag, with a penny clay. And as to "travelling hexpenses"--I wonder wot the Noble Captings of _our_ day would 'ave said to the accounts laid afore your "National Sporting Club!" £2000 for the Purse, and £150 for Mister JACKSON's travelling hexpenses!!! Oh, I say! Pugs _is_ a-looking up! And yet I'm told some o' your cockered-up fly-flappers carnt 'it a 'ole in a pound o' butter, or stand a straight nose-ender without turning faint! Evidently funking _and_ faking pays a jolly sight better than 'onesty and 'ard 'itting. Well, well, _Mister Punch_, I'm hout of it now, thanksbe. And I ain't sure as I could shape myself 'andy to the Slugger SULLIVAN and JEM SMITH kind o' caper. The "resources o' science" is so remarkable different from what they wos in _my_ days, and include so many new-fangled barnies as we worn't hup to. These 'ere pugilistic horchids, so to speak, wants deliket 'andling _in_ the Ring, as well as hout on it, and a fair 'ammering from a 'onest bunch o' fives might spile the pooty look of 'em for their fust-clarss Saloons, Privet Boxes, and Swell Clubs. But you can tell Mister JACKSON, Eskvire, an cetrer, an cetrer, an cetrer (put it all in, please, Sir, as I vant to be perlite), that in my day I'd a bin only too 'appy to fight 'im to a finish (which mighn't ha' bin in five minutes, either, hunless he wanted it so), for--his Travelling Hexpenses!!! Yours to kommand, THE CHICKEN. * * * * * SINGULAR PLURALITY! O SHAW-LEFEVRE, was it but fatality, Or could it be because the subjects bore 'em, That, when you wished to argue on plurality. About one Member came to form a quorum? No doubt the others meant this to denote That when you speak you like "One Man, One Vote." * * * * * FRIENDLY ADVICE TO MRS. HUMPHRY WARD, À PROPOS OF HER TROUBLE WITH HER ADVERSE CRITICS.--_Grieve_ no more! * * * * * [Illustration: WHAT OUR ARTIST (THE ONE WHO PAINTS THE PRETTY "KISS-MAMMY" PICTURES) HAS TO PUT UP WITH. _Tommy._ "IT'S A LITTLE GIRL, FAST ASLEEP, WITH HER DOLL IN HER ARMS!" _Jimmy._ "YES; AND WHEN SHE WAKES UP, _WON'T_ SHE BE FRIGHTENED AT THAT GREAT BIG BIRD!"] * * * * * ST. JOHN'S WOOD.