E-text prepared by Malcolm Farmer, William Flis, and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this file which includes the original illustrations. See 15142-h.htm or 15142-h.zip: (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/5/1/4/15142/15142-h/15142-h.htm) or (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/5/1/4/15142/15142-h.zip) PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI VOL. 103 AUGUST 13, 1892 LADY GAY'S SELECTIONS. _Yacht "Ibex," Weymouth._ DEAR MR. PUNCH, Once again "my foot is on my native heath."--(I don't know where this quotation comes from, but presume the author of it had lost a leg, or he would have placed _his feet_ there--or else he must have had one leg shorter than the other, and so _couldn't_ put both down at once!)--and heartily glad I am to be there--we had a most alarming passage from Jersey, and I thought every moment would be my last--(_for a time_)--but I was cheered and stimulated to endurance by the noble example of my friend and fellow-passenger The MACDOUGAL--Chief of the Clan--who was obtrusively well up to lunch-time!--but I had my revenge then, for he was unable to face the dish of Haggis that I am given to understand every right-minded Scotchman thinks it his duty to eat at least once a day. However, "I pulled through all right," as Lord ARTHUR would say, and was so delighted with my sailor-like indifference to the "rolling-sea," that I adopted a rolling-walk on landing, which was most impressive, to judge from the staring of the inhabitants of Weymouth!--(I may confess to _you_ that I couldn't help myself; everything was going up and down and sideways, for _hours_ after I landed, and I really think the sea ought to be done away with, or flattened out by some means!--there's a fortune for the man who invents the machine which will do it!)--I should prefer it done away with myself, as then there would be no mackerel-fishing! I have no personal animosity against the humble but lovely-looking mackerel; but I was weak enough to accept an invitation to go fishing for them, and you may imagine my horror at being "roused out,"--(yachting expression, _very_ significant)--at _three_ in the morning to go and capture them!--or at least to _try_--for as a matter of fact, we didn't get a single one--and my temper was "roused out" before we'd finished, for no well-conducted woman cares to be balked in her efforts to "hook a big fish,"--and all I could catch were a few small "Pollock" and "Pout." By the way, who on earth christens the fish, I wonder?--and why on earth--or rather in sea--are there so many varieties which you must either remember or submit to nave your ignorance jeered at by the practised fisherman, who has probably acquired his information concerning them only the day before?