Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, August 20, 1892Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, August 20, 1892
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Tuesday_.--Imminence of change in Ministry brings into prominence and
close proximity what is likely to happen in Ireland when Home Rule is
established. Irish Members of all sections on the alert. SAUNDERSON in
his war-paint, which assumes shape of luminous white waistcoat. Always
know, when the Colonel puts that on, he means business. Made to-night
good Derrydown speech punctuated by howls of execration from Irish
brethren opposite. That is just what Colonel enjoys; moved him to
higher nights of oratory. His lurid picture of ASQUITH, Q.C., "sitting
on the lips of Irish volcano," extremely effective. Irish Members
cruelly and effectually retorted by putting up REDMOND JUNIOR to
reply. Colonel gallantly smiled, but it was a gashly effort. Device
evidently effective. REDMOND did admirably; nothing could have been
better than his grave remark, to presumably alarmed House, that,
having for seven years sat opposite Colonel, he was able to assure
them that he was "perfectly harmless--perfectly harmless."
[Illustration: Honest John Burns.]
"Now that," said ASHBOURNE, in London just now winding up his
ministerial affairs, "is the cruellest thing I ever heard said of
SAUNDERSON."
Later, more serious evidence of seething condition of feeling in
Ulster brought under notice of House. Ross, Q.C., was returned at
General Election, in place of CHARLES LEWIS--a character useful as a
study for young Members, showing how a man of considerable ability,
and distinct Parliamentary aptitude, may prove a hopeless failure.
Ross born and brought up in Derry; accustomed to controversial
practices. Familiar from boyhood with the concrete form dialectics are
apt to take when indulged in beyond space of half an hour. "If
they mean business," Ross said confidentially to Honest JOHN BURNS,
"they'll find the Derry Boy in it."
So, before coming down to House, he carefully filled his
trouser-pocket with convenient-sized paving-stones. When he got up
just now, House stared with amazement at curious appearance presented
by the Orator. Ross, pleased with attention created, threw back his
coat, placed hands on hips, stiffened his legs, and made the most of
the paving-stones. Members opposite whispered, and tittered.
"Let them laugh that win," said Ross. "In case of a row, a
paving-stone in trouser-pocket is worth a Krupp's Battery in the
bush."
So it proved. Prevention better than cure. Nobody threw anything at
New Member for Derry, and, when he had concluded successful Maiden
Speech, went out and emptied his amazing pockets into his locker.
"I'll save 'em up for a rainy day, as the man said when he pawned his
landlord's umbrella," was Mr. Ross's remark as he hurried off home, at
least a quarter of a hundredweight lighter.
_Business done_.--More debate on Address.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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