Produced by Malcolm Farmer, William Flis, and the PG Online Distributed Proofreading Team. PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. VOL. 103. August 6, 1892. DRURIOLANUS IN (MUSIC) AULIS. The Augustan Age is to be revived at the new Palace Theatre of Varieties, late CARTE's English Opera House, for two of the imperial name of AUGUSTUS are foremost among the Directors of this new enterprise--which word "enterprise" is preferable to "undertaking." Sir AUGUSTUS leads; and GEORGIUS AUGUSTUS follows in the cast as Second Director,--with or without song is not mentioned. In comparison with this transformation of an Opera House into a Theatre of Varieties, no political combination of any sort or kind, no change either in the Ministry or in our home or foreign policy, is so likely to cause trouble to The Empire; i.e., the Empire in Leicester Square. [Illustration: "AFTER THE OP'RA IS OVER." Sir Augustus Coventgardenensis, the Singing-Bird Showman, bows his Acknowledgments.] We understand that Sir AUGUSTUS DRURIOLANUS, in addition to his interest in Covent Garden, Drury Lane, the Royal English Opera House, and various enterprises in town, country, and abroad, is about to turn his attention to other matters. _On dit_ that he is in treaty for St. Paul's Cathedral, Westminster Abbey, and the City Temple, for a series of Sunday Oratorios. It is also not improbable that he may become, for a short time, Lessee of Exeter Hall, Buckingham Palace, and the Banqueting-hall of Hampton Court, for a series of Popular Picture-Shows. No doubt he will bring from Russia a new and entire Cosmopolitan Opera Company, to give a performance on the top of the Monument. Should there be an overflow, the audience turned away will be accommodated with seats in the Duke of York's Column. He is said to be in negociation for novelties for next year's London Season in various parts of the globe. It is possible that he may bring over the entire "World's Show" from Chicago, to give a solitary performance on an eligible spot recently acquired for this purpose in the neighbourhood of Primrose Hill. It is not unlikely that he may re-erect the ancient Pyramids at the back of Olympia, if satisfactory arrangements can be made with the Egyptian Government. Looking to the future, it is asserted that he has undertaken to accept the stage-direction of the next European War with those nations bound together in the Treaty of the Triple Alliance. Further--DRURIOLANUS MAXIMUS is considering the transport to London of the North Pole, laying the Zoological Gardens under contribution for a service of bears to climb it. Sir DRURIOLANUS mustn't overdo it. He holds a handful of cards, but he is so good a _prestidigitateur_ that he is pretty sure to transform them into trumps. Likewise Sir DRURIO knows how to perform on the Trump of Fame. * * * * *