EXACT.--"He is something in the Church," said Mrs. R., trying to describe the social position of a clerical friend of hers. "I forget what it is, but it's a something like 'Dromedary;' only, you needn't smile, of course I know it couldn't be that, as a Dromedary has two humps on his back. Or, stop!" she exclaimed, suddenly, "am I confusing him with a Minor Camel?" * * * * * [Illustration: WELL MEANT, BUT AWKWARDLY PUT. "SO GLAD YOU HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ME, DEAR LORD VARICOSE; I WAS AFRAID YOU WOULD, AFTER SO MANY YEARS!" "OH, NO, MISS EVERGREEN; I NEVER FORGET OLD FACES!"' * * * * * WOT CHER! OR, KNOCKED 'EM IN THE WEST-MIN-IS-TER ROAD. (_WITH MR. PUNCH'S RESPECTFUL APOLOGIES TO THE GREAT COSTER LAUREATE, MR. ALBERT CHEVALIER_.) _Coster Bill sings_:-- Last week down our way there come a chap, Sort o' "Sausage." Lots o' go and snap. Twigs my Missus, and takes orf 'is cap, In a (German) gentlemanly way. "Ma'am," says 'e, "I've 'appy news to tell. SOL, of 'Atfield (rich old Tory Swell), Snuffed it recent, to 'is sort a sell, Leaving you this little Donkey Shay." _CHORUS_. "Wot cher!" all the neighbours cried, "Who're yer goin' to meet, BILL? 'Ave yer bought the street, BILL?" Laugh!! I thought I should 'ave died. Knock'd 'em in the West-min-is-ter Road! Some says nasty things about the moke, "Won't got fur afore _'is_ back is broke!" That's all envy, cos we're kerridge folk, Like the Tory Toffs wot 'ave to _go_! Straight! it woke the Tories up a bit. Thought BRUM JOE would go and 'ave a fit, When my Missus, who 'as Irish wit, Sez "I 'ate Brum Brooms[1] becos they're low!" _CHORUS_. "Wot cher!" all the neighbours cried. "Who're yer goin' to meet, BILL? 'Ave yer bought the street, BILL?" Missus, she the Shamrock waved with pride. Knock'd 'em in the West-min-is-ter Road! Some sez werry soon the moke'll stop; Not hup to _our_ weight, but bound ter drop. No use whackin' 'im with pole or prop, 'Cos the warmint wasn't _made_ to go. Well, it ain't hexact a four-in-'and; But me and the Missus hunderstand, If we drive together we shall "land," Wich to Tory toffs'll be a blow. _CHORUS_. "Wot cher!" all the neighbours cried. Who're yer goin' to meet, BILL? 'Ave yer bought the street, BILL?" Win? You bet! with BIDDY by my side. Knock'd in the West-min-is-ter Road! Wait till arter August four or five! Me and Missus, we will take a drive. Toffs say, "Wonderful they're still alive!" You shall see that little Donkey go! I'll soon show 'em wot we mean to do; Just wot my old Missus wants me to; And in spite of all that rowdy crew, 'Ollerin' "Woa! Steady! Neddy, woa!" _CHORUS_.