Have hats got souls, and can they hate? Are street-boys higher than the brute? Avails it to discuss of fate, Free-will, fore-knowledge absolute? Nay, why of all created things Should new silk hats be made with wings? I know not. Wherefore, oh ye powers, Speed me to some deserted land, Where blow no winds and fall no showers, Far from the street-boys and the Strand. There all unfriended let me dwell, A hatless hermit in a cell. * * * * * THE CYCLE-RIDING DUSTMAN. A VERY NEW SONG TO A VERY OLD TUNE. AIR--"_THE LITERARY DUSTMAN_." ["A resolution on the Agenda of the Greenwich Board of Works runs as follows:--'That, in order to enable the foreman of the dustmen in the Parish of St. Paul, Deptford, to get about that parish with more expedition, and so superintend the work of the men under his control to greater advantage than is now possible, a tricycle be obtained for his use, at a cost not exceeding £21 1s. 6d.'" _Daily Chronicle_.] BUMBLE will ope his eyes, egad, In hutter consternation. He'd think as soon of a park-prad For covies in my station. Our Board o' Works knows wot is wot, And has a feller-feeling. About the parish must I trot? No, hang it! I'll go Wheeling! _CHORUS_. Out o' the road! The highway clear! OSMOND's the Cyclist's fust man; And I, by co-in-side-ance clear, Am the fust Cycling Dustman! The happy foreman Dustman! The Cycle-riding Dustman! Yes, by a co-in-side-ance queer, I'm the fust Cycling Dustman! Old fogies to the papers write, Grumbling about their dust, Sirs. They says we're scarce and imperlite, Unless we're well tipped fust, Sirs. When I wheels round on my machine, Like ZIMMERMAN on hisn, If we don't keep their dustbins clean, Wy, pop me into prison! _CHORUS_. Their refuse-pails we'll promptly clear, When on the wheels I'm fust man; And even sour old maids shall cheer The Cycle-riding Dustman! &c. Cycles for Dust-hos! Arter that, It's Hosborne to my hattic That Dusty BOB of the flap 'at Will turn haristocratic. BUMBLE, old buck, I cannot tell 'Ow bloomin' proud I feel, man, Old Shanks's mare I once knew well, But now I'm turned swell Wheelman. _CHORUS_. Good Greenwich Board o' Works! Hurroo! Elated? Ain't I just, man! Show the Big D! 'Twill bring to you The Cycle-riding Dustman! &c. * * * * * [Illustration: SOME UPS AND DOWNS OF THE GENERAL ELECTION. * * * * * [Illustration: "BUMBLE BARNARDO; OR, THE BUZZY B." "I feel almost compelled to concur in the widely-known dictum of the redoubtable Mr. Bumble."--_Extract from Letter of Dr. Barnardo to the "Times."_ * * * * * JUST LIKE JUSTICE. (_NOTES ON THE NEXT CASE._)