"Come away!" So Sirens sing-- Sly, seducious, and skittish-- To the Tourist, wealthy, British, When Society's on the wing, Or should be, for "Foreign Parts." British BULL mistrusts their arts. "Come away!" (One doth say), "_Our Emperor is quiet to-day!_" Cries another, "Come, my brother, "_Avalanches down again!_" Sings a third, with beckoning fingers, "_Come, come, where the Cholera lingers_." While a fourth--is it her fun?-- With the wide blue eyes of Hope (As though advertising Soap), Shouts, with glee, "Come with me, Unto Norroway, o'er the foam, Far from home, Wait there to see Our (invisible) Midnight Sun!" BULL, the tweed-clad British Tourist, Muses--"Home seems the securest, On the whole. Why widely ramble, Tramp, and climb, and spend, and gamble, Face infection, dulness, danger, All the woe that waits "the Stranger," And the Tourist (rich) environs, At the call of foreign Sirens, When home charmers, bright-eyed, active, Offer "metal more attractive?" Four such darlings who'll discover O'er the seas? Shall I, their lover, Still discard them for yon minxes, Harpies with the eyes of "lynxes"? ALBION dear, and CAMBRIA mild, CALEDONIA stern and wild, As your poet said, but pretty; HIBEBNIA mavourneen, jetty- Hair'd, and azure-eyed, I greet ye! Darlings, I am charmed to meet ye. _Why_ go wandering o'er the foam, Like a latter-day ULYSSES, When warm charms and wooing-kisses Of such Sirens Four wait me at home?" * * * * * [Illustration: UNLUCKY COMPLIMENT. _Shoeblack_ (_wishing to please liberal and important Customer_). "SHOULDN'T LIKE TO GET A KICK FROM _You_, Sin!" [_Gets one on the spot._] * * * * * "L'HOMME PROPOSE--." [Gentlemen are now coached "How to Propose."] [Illustration] They sat it out upon the stairs, Those dear old stairs! Ah me; how many A time they've cost, all unawares, A pretty penny! Why they were fools enough to go To sit on stairs, and miss the fun, Quite baffles me; but still, you know, It _has_ been done. The lights were low--lights often are-- I deem the fact though worth the noting, And strains of music from afar Came softly floating. So whilst she pondered what Mamma Would think, the band commenced to play The epidemical "_Ta-ra-_ _ra-boom-de-ay!_" He gazed into her eyes (of blue), Sighed once as if it hurt him badly, Then told her how 'twas but too true He loved her madly. With highly creditable skill He turned the well-worn platitude-- His own unworthiness until You really could Not but admire each word, each look. His speech was quite unrivalled in its Intensity--in fact it took At least ten minutes.