THE SHORTEST DAY. SHORT verse We need, Most terse Indeed, That it-- This lay-- May fit This day. Short sight Of sun. Long night, Begun At four, Sunshine Once more At nine. A. M. Meets eyes Of them Who rise If no Fog hide-- Then woe Betide; The day That ought To stay So short A space Can't show Its face Below. But when It goes, Why then One knows New Year Will soon Be here-- Then June, So bright! So sweet! So light! We'll greet The day That's long With gay, Glad song-- Excessively long-footed verse will undoubtedly characterise what we say, For LONGFELLOW'S longest lines skip along when we've long longed for the Longest Day. (_Signed_) TOUCHSTONE. * * * * * MILITARY MOTTO FOR THE NEW SOUTH LONDON OPHTHALMIC HOSPITAL OPENED LAST FRIDAY BY THE DUKE OF YORK.--"Eyes right!" * * * * * THE CHOICE OF BOOKS. To various opinions the quidnuncs give voice, But the best "choice of books" means--the books of your choice. * * * * * THE LAST WORD. (_A Domestic Drama of the Day before Yesterday._) SCENE.--_The Breakfast Room at Linoleum Lodge, the suburban residence of_ SAMUEL STODGEFORD, Esq. Mr. _and_ Mrs. STODGEFORD, _their son_ PARMENAS, _and daughters_ POMPILIA _and_ PRISCILLA, _discovered at breakfast._ _Mr. Stodgeford._ We shall probably get it by the second post, and though the delay is--ah--to some extent, annoying, we must not allow ourselves to be unduly impatient. Personally, I regard these--ah--weekly competitions as chiefly valuable in providing an innocent form of domestic recreation, and an interesting example of the--ah--value of words. _Parmenas S._ The value of _one_ word, I should say, Father. Last week, as there were very few who guessed right, it amounted to a considerable sum. _Mr. S._ That is a stimulant to ingenuity, no doubt, with some minds, but let us put that aside. We feel some natural curiosity to know whether we have selected the missing adjective, and I see no reason myself to doubt that our united efforts will this time be crowned with success. _Pompilia._ It is almost impossible that it won't be _one_ of the two hundred and fifty we sent in. _Parmenas._ I drew up a list of synonyms which, I flatter myself, was practically exhaustive. _Priscilla._ I dreamt I heard a voice saying quite clearly in my ear, "Nonsensical! nonsensical!"--like that--so I sent it in the first thing next morning. _Mr. S._ These--ah--supernatural monitions are not vouchsafed to us without a purpose. It _may_ be "nonsensical." _Mrs. S._ The only two words _I_ could think of were, "absurd" and "idiotic," and I'm afraid they haven't much chance.