_Prof._ (_with affected rapture_). Oh dear! Oh lor! _What_ doins! Time! you two, afore ye _kill_ one another! Now, Gentlemen, a good clap, to encourage 'em. I think you'll agree as the Volunteer is showin' you good sport; and, if you think him deservin' of a drink, p'raps one o' you will oblige with the loan of a 'at, which he'll now take round. (_The hat is procured, and offered to_ JOE, _who, however, prefers that the collection should be made by deputy._) Don't _forgit_ 'im, Gentlemen! (_Coppers pour into the hat, and the last round is fought;_ B. of B. _ducking_ JOE'S _blows with great agility, and planting his own freely in various parts of_ JOE'S _anatomy._) _Spectators._ 'E'll be knocked out in a minnit, 'e will! Don't sim to git near 'un no 'ow. Look a' _that_--and _thar_ agin! Ah, JOE got one in that time--but the tother's the better man--'e don't touch 'un without _'ittin'_ of 'un--d'ye see? Time! Ah, and time it _was_ time, too--fur _'im_! _Prof._ (_to JOE, as he sits blinking, and blowing his nose with vigour_). That was a jolly good fight--tho' rough. You've some notion o' sparrin'--we'd soon make a boxer o' _you_. 'Ere's _your_ share of the collection--sevenpence ap'ny. We give _you_ the extry ap'ny, bein' a stranger. Would you feel inclined to fight six rounds, later on like, with another of our lads, fur ten bob, now? _Joe_ (_making a futile attempt to untie his glove with his teeth_). Much obliged, Master, but I've 'ad about enough spree a'ready to do me fur a bit. _Prof._ Are there any two friends in 'ere as 'ud like to fight a round or two? [_Two Rustics step forward valiantly--a tall dark man and a little red-haired one--and, after the usual preliminaries, square up at a safe distance._ _Spectators_ (_to the tall man_). Why don't ye step _up_ to 'un, JIM? Use yer right 'and a bit! (_To the short one._) Let out on 'un, TOM! [_TOM, thus exhorted, lands an unexpected blow on JIM'S eye._ _Jim_ (_suddenly ducking under the rope in great dudgeon_). 'Twas a cowardly blow! I didn' stan' up to be 'it in th' fa-ace i' that way; I've 'ad enoof of it! _Tom._ Come back and fight it out! (_Soothingly._) Why, ye come at me like a thunderin' great _lion_, ye did! _Jim_ (_putting on his hat and coat, sulkily_). Loi-on or noan, I ain't gawin' to hev naw moor on it, I tell 'ee. [_Groans from_ Spectators. _Prof._ Don't be 'ard on 'im, Gents; it ain't 'is fault if he's on'y bin used to box with bolsters, and as he ain't goin' to finish 'is rounds, it's all over for this time, and I 'ope you're all satisfied with what you've seen. _A Malcontent._ _I_ ain't. I carl it a bloomin' swindle. I come 'ere to see some _sparrin'_, _I_ did! _Prof._ Step inside the ropes then, and _I'll_ soon show yer some! (_This invitation is hastily declined._) Well, then, go outside quiet, d'jear me? or else you'll do it upside down, like ole JOHN BROWN, in 'arf a sec., I can tell yer!