_Q.C._ "NO; I'M KEEPING THEM FOR MY OLD AGE!" _F. A._ "OH, DON'T TALK OF OLD AGE!--IT'S SO HORRID!" _Q.C._ "NOT WITH YOUR BOOKS!"] * * * * * TRIFLES. (_From Our Special Autolycus._) MR. OSCAR BROWNING has republished, with other Historical Essays, his account of the Flight to Varennes, in which he demonstrates that CARLYLE was hopelessly wrong in the narrative which glows through the most famous and fascinating chapter in _The French Revolution_. There seems no doubt about it; but AUTOLYCUS says, he knows a man who would rather be wrong with CARLYLE than right with O. B. * * * * * Met the Duke of SOTTO-VOCE to-day. Evidently in most doleful dumps. "No, it's not the weather, AUTOLYCUS," he said. "Fact is that, although supposed to be a rich man, I am reduced to extremities. Lunched yesterday at the Carlton off dish of braised ox-tail, and supped at night at Beefsteak on cow-heel _a la cordonnier_." * * * * * AUTOLYCUS hears that, early in the New Year, Mr. ARMITSTEAD, Mr. GLADSTONE'S host in the South of France, will be raised to the Peerage, under the title of Baron BIARRITZ OF BARMOUTH. "Pau! Pau!" said Mr. STUART-RENDELL, when the rumour reached him. "What are Barmouth and Biarritz? I took Mr. G. on to the Pyrenees, and Cannes. If a fresh Barony is to be created for ARMITSTEAD, what shall I have?" "Why, a Canne'd one," said ALGY WEST, who is always _so_ ready. (_Signed_) AUTOLYCUS. * * * * * "THE LIBERATOR BUILDING SOCIETY:"--To liberate, means, "make free." If the present charges are proven, the title will be rather appropriate, considering how very free it seems to have made with a considerable amount of property. * * * * * [Illustration: The Foreman of the Jury.] * * * * * THE MAN WHO WOULD. V.--THE MAN WHO WOULD BRING AN ACTION FOR LIBEL. The following incident in the career of BROWZER was recalled to memory by an article in a literary journal. An author was airing his grievances; among them this,--that writers of repute occasionally lend their names and pens to obscure or unsuccessful papers for a consideration, without asking how the usual staff of the paper is paid. These, indeed, are delicate inquiries. Part of the plaint was expressed in the following sentence:-- "When a journal makes a call upon a good author, and in the pages of which he can gain neither honour nor renown, from which, as a matter of taste, he would shrink, under ordinary circumstances, from contributing to, that journal ought to be subjected to careful scrutiny." Now what can this possibly be supposed to mean?--