_Friday_.--Covent Garden, _Elaine_ expected, but didn't appear. JOHN THE RISKY, the _Launcelot_ of the Opera, unwell. "Not _Launcelot_, but another!" cried Sir DRURIOLANUS, only there wasn't another. So _Carmen_ was played. "Not this _Elaine_," continued Sir AUGUSTUS, "but Drur-e-lane." So away! to hear the Trumpeter of the German Band. This _Trompeter_ might be played as a trump in a small house, but 'tis trumpery for Drury Lane. One phrase of an old music-hall ditty, the words of which were, "She walked forward, _I_ followed on, tra la la!" constantly recur. Who originated it? Unwonted excitement of going to two Operas told on shattered frame, so staggered to Maiden Lane, which, on account of its being the home for oysters, crabs, and lobsters, should be renamed Mer-maiden Lane. Behold! good Dr. BAYLIS "within the Rules" making up his evening prescriptions. "_Quis supperabit?_" asked the learned Dr. B. "_Ego_," replied I, like JEAMES, knowing the language. And "supper-a-bit" it was. "'84 _wachterum unum pintum frigidum sumendum cum_ '92 _chickeno_," &c. "My benizon on thee!" said CRITICUS REDIVIVUS. "Dr. BAYLIS, I bay-_liss_ thee!" with the accent on the "_liss_." So home. After all the chops and changes of this operatic life, I am with "chicken and champagne" content. _Finis coronat opus._ * * * * * MORE CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE ALCOHOLIC QUESTION. (_A FEW REMARKS ON DR. ROBSON ROOSE'S ARTICLE IN NEW REVIEW._) [Illustration: "'Neat' Handed Phyllis." "A contribution to the Alcohol Question."] 1. Inebriates should be shut up in Alcoholloway Prison. 2. "_Food-accessory_" is a very pretty name for drink. Henceforth let the butler go round as "the merry toast goes round." Let butlers and footmen, in dining-rooms and places where they have various liquors, be instructed to inquire of each and every guest "What food-accessory will you take, Sir?" 3. "_The use of Alcohol dates from very early times._" But it is not recommended by the faculty as a good thing to be taken at 7 A.M., or at any time in the morning immediately on awaking. As to when any one has had enough "alcohol," the old test first put forward many years ago by _Mr. Punch_, still holds good. If you can say "British Constitution" distinctly, and without effort, so that it shall not be all in one composite word sounding like "Bri'sh-conshushun," then, perhaps, you may go up-stairs (if you can) and join the ladies. 4. "_The liver is very prone to become affected._" The question is, first, Is "an evil liver" or "a good liver" here intended? But, apart from this, any affectation in a liver, good or bad, is objectionable. It must be taken for granted, in a serious discussion on the subject, that "a slave to his liver" is a synonym for "a livery servant." The one objection to a livery servant lies in this very fact; for a slave to liver is rarely in a good humour, and is generally sulky, lazy, and disobliging.