And the Muses Nine, as they stood in line, they shuddered and turned to go. "A joke's a joke, but I can't bear fleas," said CLIO to ERATO. And the Graces, the good Conservative Three, shrank back to a spot remote, And observed that they knew that this would come from letting the Masses vote. Then AZRAEL spake--"On the Stygian lake I floated a half-sinned sin On the crest of a cross-grained stickleback, that is caught with a crooked pin; For a year and a day I watched it whirl, but never that sin could be One-half so base as your gruesome face, O Soul of a Sundered Flea! "What ill have ye done? Speak up, speak up!--for this is no place, I trow, For the puling people on virtue fed. So speak, or prepare to go." But the Flea flew free from the pincers' grip, and uttered a single phrase-- "I have lived on blood, as a gentleman should, and that is my claim to praise." Then a shout of joy from the throng went forth; they built him a crystal throne, And there in his pride, with none beside, he rules and he reigns alone. And this is the tale which I here set down, as the story was told to me-- In excellent Rudyard-Kipling verse--the tale of the Sundered Flea. * * * * * ANTICIPATORY NEWS (_from Our Own Court Tripping Newsman_).--Sir ALGERNON BORTHWICK, Bart, M.P., will be raised to the Peerage with the title of Lord MORNINGPOST, of Penniwise, Seefarshire, N.B. * * * * * An Anti-lawn-tennis Lady considers that the argument against Croquet, as a game involving a bent back, and a narrowing of the chest, is merely "A very stoopit objection." * * * * * [Illustration: GUSHING HOSPITALITY. (TIME 3 P.M.) _Hospitable Host_. "HAVE C'GAR, OLD F'LLA?" _Languid Visitor_. "NO--THANKS!" _H.H._ "CIGARETTE THEN?" _His Visitor_. "NO--THANKS. NEVAR SMOKE 'MEJATELY AFTER BREAKFAST." _H.H._ "CAN'T REFUSE A TOOTHPICK, THEN, OLD F'LLA?"] * * * * * OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.