A Judge who can resist the temptation to utter feeble witticisms, and to fall asleep. A Witness who answers questions, and incidentally tells the truth. A Jury who do not look supremely silly, and ridiculously self-conscious, when directly addressed or appealed to by Counsel; or one that really understands that the Judge's politeness is only another and subtle form of self-glorification. A Q.C. who is not "eminent," who does not behave "nobly," and who can avoid the formula "I suggest to you," in cross-examination; or one that does not thunder from a lofty and inaccessible moral altitude so soon as a nervous Witness blunders or contradicts himself. An Usher who does not try to induce the general public, especially the female portion thereof, to mistake him for the Lord Chancellor. A Solicitor who does not strive to appear _coram populo_ on terms of quite unnecessarily familiar intercourse with his leading Counsel. An Articled Clerk who does not dress beyond his thirty shillings a-week, and think that the whole Court is lost in speculation as to the identity of that distinguished-looking young man. An Associate who does not go into ecstasies of merriment over every joke or _obiter dictum_ from the Bench. Anybody who does not give loud expression to the opinion at the nearest bar when the Court rises, that he could have managed the case for either or both sides infinitely better than the Counsel engaged. A Court-house whose atmosphere is pleasant and invigorating after the Court has sat for fifteen minutes. (Anyone concerned who, on reading these remarks in print, will think that the cap can, by any _scintilla_ of possibility, fit himself.) * * * * * [Illustration: BUFFALO WILLIAM'S GREAT WILD N.S.E. & W. SHOW. THE LATEST "UNSEATING ACT."] * * * * * [Illustration: PORTRAIT OF A LABOUR CANDIDATE. WARRANTED TO "SWEEP THE COUNTRY," AND MAKE HIS MARK IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS. (NATURALLY A FLUE-NT SPEAKER)!] * * * * * JUSTICE FOR 'FRISCO. DEAR MR. PUNCH,--I notice that a complaint has been made that those charming stories of wild life in the Far West, are out of date. Nay, more, that they are calculated to do a great deal of harm to a considerable amount of valuable property. On the other hand, the talented authors of the picturesque romances to which I have referred, insist that there is a great demand for these literary wares, and they would suffer much loss if they were to discontinue their production.