Yes! I'm off for my holiday--wife in hysterics, Since nowhere on earth can her poodle be found; And the nurses and children--ANNES, LILIANS, ERICS-- All screaming, and fussing, and fuming around! Yes! I'm off for my holiday--Tyneside, or Deeside, Or Lakes, or that Switzerland English, Hind Head, Or the thousand monotonies known as "The Seaside"-- Ask not whither my fugitive footsteps are led. For whatever the place, it is ever the same thing; Poor Paterfamilias always must suffer. A dyspeptic, a costly, a lame and a tame thing Is Holiday-time for a family buffer. Yes! I'm off for my holiday--where I won't mention; They are pulling the blinds of my drawing-room down: But next year--if I live--it's my solemn intention _To stay, upon business, en garcon, in Town_. * * * * * FAIR PROSPECTS OF FINE WEATHER.--No rain on St. Swithin's, and last week the County of Inverness discarded its MACKINTOSH. * * * * * NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception.