However, I was much struck with the equanimity with which reverses were accepted by the members of our gallant Amateur Army, and intend composing an ode in their honour, to be sung in camp to the accompaniment of bullets, bagpipes, and brass bands! (more alliteration for the Midlothian Maltese Marriage Merchant), the refrain of which will run thus:-- The Volunteer! The Volunteer!! No matter how the wind may veer! Will have no fear! and will not sweer! so do not jeer!!! the Volunteer!!!" --appropriate _patriotic_ music to which will be written by Signor CLEMENTI SCHIOTTI! There is no racing of any importance this week, there being only a small Meeting under Pic Nic Rules, at a place called Goodwood--(I write of it in this contemptuous way, as I am not going myself)--somewhere on the coast of the Solent--to which I need not allude at any length; I will, therefore, only mention one race having been so successful lately, that I can afford to rest on my oars--(rather an insecure position by the way, for anyone who can't swim!) and remain as usual Yours devotedly, LADY GAY. CHESTERFIELD CUP SELECTION. To win such a race as the Chesterfield Cup, Is a task wanting speed and endurance; And the duty of all, ere the ghost giving up, Is to quickly effect an _Insurance_." _P.S._--I don't see any _sense_ in this, but the _rhyme_ is good! L.G. * * * * * [Illustration: UNPLEASANT DUTIES OF CLUB LIFE. MONSIEUR VICTOR ACHILLE PETROLY, THE NEW CHEF, IS SUDDENLY SUMMONED BEFORE THE COMMITTEE TO RECEIVE A REPRIMAND. THE QUESTION IS, WHO'S TO ADMINISTER IT?] * * * * * WILLIAM THE WHEELMAN. _Enthusiastic Cyclist loquitur_:-- I have noticed with unfeigned and real pleasure, The rapid growth of Cycling. (_How it jumps!_) To those who have the energy and leisure It affords--(_Confound this saddle! it so bumps!_) What otherwise would be quite unattainable, A healthy, and a pleasurable form Of exercise. (_Yes, health is hereby gainable;_ _But I am most uncomfortably warm!_) It gives them the advantages of travel, (_By Jingo! I was nearly over then!_ _A tumble and the "gravel-rash" would gravel_ _The nimblest of extremely Grand Old Men_) Which, previous to the Cycle's happy advent, Were out of almost everybody's reach. (_And to the "spirits" of the cycling-cad vent._ _'Arry on Wheels the law must manners teach._) It's really very much more profitable Than is the long luxurious rail way journey. (_If in the saddle I feel not more stable,_ _I'll be "unhorsed," like tilter in a tourney!_) Monotonous the journey from the City, Along a fixed unalterable route. (_This is an old "bone-shaker." 'Tis a pity!_ _For over the front wheel one's apt to shoot._)