_Capt. O._ By Jove, you were well out of it. (_Addressing the Club generally._) Did--you ever see such--eh? _Charlie._ I want to know where the deuce they get their men from. _Algy._ I fancy they discover them in the City. _Jack._ _I_ never met--such shocking people before. _Capt. O._ Too dreadful for words. I could only conclude they must have been relations. [_Roars of laughter._ _Jack._ By the way, did you notice that there was a "bounder" who was reversing? _Uninvited M._ (_with great indignation_). No!!! _Jack._ I tell you it's a positive fact--I know it to my cost; for I was dancing with that youngest daughter, you know--the one who has the fluffy fringe over her forehead--and the brute bounced against us, and sent us flying. Never even apologised. If I could have got him outside, I declare I would have given him a deuced good hiding. A man like that ought to be kicked. _Uninvited M._ Were the women any better? _Algy._ Well, if you call Mrs. DASH any better! _Uninvited M._ (_with tragic intensity_). You _don't_ mean to say _she_ was there! _Algy._ I _do_. _Uninvited M._ But do you mean to say that Mrs. CRAMMERLY has heard-- _Jack._ No. She's deaf. [_Laughter._ _Uninvited M._ Well, you _do_ surprise me! (_After a long pause._) Any other shining lights of London Society? _Jack._ No--except that fearful Mrs. JUSSOPH and her daughters, who honoured me with an invitation to their afternoon party at their suburban residence at _West Kensington_. I don't know whether you regard them as an illumination. [_Roars of laughter._ _Uninvited M._ (_triumphantly._) Good gracious! Then there was positively no one there that one knows. _Algy_ (_thinking he has said something original_). No one, that one _wants_ to know. _Uninvited M._ I suppose the whole thing was done for an advertisement--? _Algy._ Possibly. Anyhow, once bitten, twice shy. They won't get _me_ inside their stuccoed palace again. _Chorus of Those who were at the Party._ Same here! [_Pause._ _Capt. O._ (_lighting cigar by candle_). By the way, JACK, did old CRAM. ask you to Scotland for the 12th? _Jack._ Yes. _Capt. O._ So he did me. Shall you go? _Jack._ It depends--I think so--if I don't get anything better. I'm told it's a wonderful shoot. They pulled down over a thousand birds the first day, last year. _Capt. O._ Does old CRAMMERLY shoot? _Jack._ Oh dear no! He's as blind as a bat. He only rents it for his friends. _Capt. O._ (_greatly relieved_). That's good news, for he's a terrible bore. He'd be a shocking nuisance on the Moors. I must say, I can't stand _him_ at any price. _Jack._ No, nor any of the family, for the matter of that. Well, ta, ta! Perhaps we shall meet there. I'm off to the Empire, to join some friends who've got a box. [_Exit to enjoy further hospitality._ * * * * *