After the customary votes of thanks had been carried by acclamation, the new Member was hoisted shoulder-high by the enthusiastic mob, and carried off to his country residence, The Kennel, Barks, where he will remain during the Recess. * * * * * [Illustration: THE IMPORTANCE OF EXTERNALS. "BUT WHY DON'T YOU SEND FOR DR. MASHER, AUNT JANE? HE'S THE CLEVEREST DOCTOR IN THE WHOLE COUNTY!" "OH, MY DEAR, I COULDN'T! HE _DRESSES_ SO IRRELIGIOUSLY!"] * * * * * VOTES AND THE MAN! "One Man, one Vote!" A fine, fair-sounding plan! Would we could also get "One Vote, one _Man_!" Then we might also reach, "One Vote, one value." But, England, you have never found, nor shall you, Alas! (despite the democracy's promoter) That real manhood always marks the voter; Or fearing neither knave's device, nor "rough" rage, We'd trust the State to a _true_ Manhood Suffrage! * * * * * FROM TAPLOW. _First 'Arry._ I'll tell you a good name for a Riverside Inn--"_The 'Av-a-launch_." _Second 'Arry._ I'll tell you a better--"The 'Ave-a-lunch." Come along! * * * * * [Illustration: WHITE LIES. _Frisky Spinster._ "HOW MANY DANCES ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE ME TO-NIGHT, CAPTAIN WAXHAM?" _Captain Waxham._ "OH, I'M SO SORRY, BUT THERE'S NOT ENOUGH MEN, YOU KNOW, AND I'VE JUST BEEN TOLD OFF BY MRS. MASHAM TO DANCE WITH THE GIRLS WHO--A--WHO ARE NOT LIKELY TO GET PARTNERS!" [_Asks the Girl just behind him for three Waltzes and a Polka!_] * * * * * "CLOSED FOR ALTERATIONS AND REPAIRS." (_A SONG OF THE THEATRE ROYAL, ST. STEPHEN'S._) AIR--"_Killaloe._" Closed! The long wild whillaloo That oft smacked of "Killaloe," The contagious wrath of Buskin and of Sock Hath abated for awhile, And no more the Emerald Isle On the stage and in the green-room seems to shock. The curtain is rung down, The comedian and the clown, With the sombre putter-on of tragic airs, Are gone, with all the cast, And the Theatre, at last, Is "Closed for Alterations and Repairs." They may cheer for GLADSTONE hearty, For BALFOUR or MCCARTHY, This, that, or t'other party, As it pleases them to do. They may howl like Maenads crazy, For policies dark and hazy; New stars ere long The stage may throng, To play in pieces new. The managerial soul Though relieved, upon the whole, From the six years' run, and all its stir and strain; Feels anxiety, no doubt, As to "stars" which may go out, And others that may probably remain. He has run a popular play, Which the Treasury says will pay, Despite of gallery hisses, groundling blares; But there's care upon his face, 'Tis a most expensive place, And 'tis "Closed for Alterations and Repairs." They may cheer, &c.