_Clown._ Now I want you, little Pony, to go round and tell me who's the biggest rogue in the company. (_Reassuringly, as the Pony goes round, and a certain uneasiness is perceptible among some of the spectators_). I 'ope no Gentleman 'ere will be offended by bein' singled out, for no offence is intended,--it is merely a 'armless--(_Finds the Pony at his elbow._) Why, you rascal! do you mean to say _I'm_ the biggest rogue 'ere? (_The Pony nods._) You've been round, and can't find a bigger rogue than me in all this company? (_Emphatic shake of the head from Pony; secret relief of inner circle of Spectators._) You and me'll settle this later! _First Spectator_ (_as audience disperses_). That war a clever Pony, sart'nly! _Second Spect._ Ah, he wur that. (_Reflectively._) I dunno as I shud keer partickler 'bout _'avin_ of 'im, though! IN THE HOME OF MYSTERY. _A small canvas booth with a raised platform, on which a Young Woman in short skirts has just performed a few elementary conjuring tricks before an audience of gaping Rustics._ _The Showman._ The Second Part of our Entertainment will consist of the performances of a Real Live Zulu from the Westminster Royal Aquarium. Mr. FARINI, in the course of 'is travels, discovered both men and women--and this is one of them. (_Here a tall Zulu, simply attired in a leopard's-skin apron, a bead necklace, and an old busby, creeps through the hangings at the back._) He will give you a specimen of the strange and remarkable dances in his country, showin' you the funny way in which they git married--for they don't git married over there the same as we do 'ere--cert'n'ly _not_! (_The Spectators form a close ring round the Zulu._) Give him a little more room, or else you won't notice the funny way he moves his legs while dancin'. [_The ring widens a very little, and contracts again, while the Zulu performs a perfunctory prance to the monotonous jingle of his brass anklets._ _Melia_ (_critically_). Well, that's the silliest sort of a weddin' as iver _I_ see! _Joe._ He do seem to be 'avin' it a good deal to 'isself, don't 'e? _Showman._ He will now conclude 'is entertainment by porsin round, and those who would like to shake 'ands with 'im are welcome to do so, while at the same time, those among you who would like to give 'im a extry copper for 'isself you will 'ave an opportunity of noticin' the funny way in which he takes it. _Spectators_ (_as the Zulu begins to slink round the tent, extending a huge and tawny paw_). 'Ere, _come_ arn! [_The booth is precipitately cleared._ * * * * * "_WRITE Letter Days_" should be the companion volume to _Red Letter Days_, published by BENTLEY. * * * * * [Illustration: THAT IT SHOULD COME TO THIS! _Boy._ "SECOND-CLASS, SIR?" _Captain._ "I NEVAH TRAVEL SECOND-CLASS!" _Boy._ "THIS WAY THIRD, SIR!"] * * * * *