7. Distinguish the difference between "Our Own Commissioner" and "Our Own Correspondent," and "Our Special Reporter" and "An Occasional Contributor." Give the rates of remuneration (if any) attaching to each office. 8. What is "City Intelligence?" Is it affected by the rise and fall of the advertisement columns? State the difference between "News Specially Communicated" and a puff paragraph. 9. Give the statistics (if you are able) of the number of aspirants to Journalism who have risen and fallen. Show that a small certainty in the City is better than an occasional ten-pound note earned in Fleet Street. 10. Write an essay upon the subject that Journalism is better as a stick than a crutch, and show that it is useless to take up your pen if you have not already provided (from other sources) for the payment of your butcher's book. * * * * * TO FOOTBALL. Farewell to thee, Cricket, Thy last match is o'er; Thy bat, ball, and wicket, Are needed no more. To thy sister we turn, For her coming we pray: Her worshippers burn For the heat of the fray. Hail! Goddess of battle, Yet hated of Ma(r)s, How ceaseless their tattle Of tumbles and scars! Such warnings are vain, For thy rites we prepare, Youth is yearning again In thy perils to share. Broken limbs and black eyes, May, perchance, be our lot; But grant goals and ties And we care not a jot. Too sacred to name With thy posts, ball, and field, There is no winter game To which thou canst yield. * * * * * NEW TRANSLATION--"VERY CHOICE ITALIAN,"--"_Sotto voce_;" i.e., in a drunken tone of voice. * * * * * AN EN-NOBBLING SPECTACLE! _BEING SOME ACCOUNT OF THE PRODIGAL DAUGHTER OF DRURY LANE._ CHAPTER I.--_THE TEA-URN OF THE HUNTER._ SIR JOHN HENRY NEVILLE WOODMERE was the most considerate of men, and he had a very considerate family, and a large circle of considerate acquaintances. He was obliging to the last degree, Among those he knew, and to whom he owed a deep debt of gratitude (for they had furnished him with an old family mansion, a stud of racers, and passes for himself and circle to Paris) were AUGUSTE LE GRAND, and HENRI LE PETTITT. [Illustration: Voluptuary, carrying weight, winning the Great Metropolitan Drury Lane Stakes. Everybody up.] "My good friend," said HENRI, "your daughter is charming. She has been well brought up, and has the finest sentiments; but it is necessary that she should run away to Paris, and dodge the parson. Otherwise, how could she be called _The Prodigal Daughter_?" Sir JOHN saw the force of this reasoning, and consented. "And stay," said AUGUSTE, "we must really have a good set, and you must go a fox-hunting. You must have armour, and a breakfast, and all of you must wear hunting-coats. And look here, we can't do without flowers, and coats-of-arms, and open windows."