Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, October 15, 1892Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, October 15, 1892
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Afterwards they began again. The very dogs grew ashamed of the
noise, and went home. That afternoon there was peace in the world of
birds--at least, on that particular shooting--and the next morning saw
the shooting-parties of England reduced by one, which had separated
in different dog-carts, and various stages of high dudgeon, for the
railway station. So, please to be very, very careful. Use the methods
of compromise. If you find your friend obstinately pinned to No. 5,
when you have declared a preference for No. 6, meet him half-way,
or even profess to be converted by his arguments. Or tell him the
anecdote about the Irishman, who always shot snipe with No. 4,
because, "being such a little bird, bedad, you want a bigger shot to
get at the beggar." You can then inform him how you yourself once did
dreadful execution among driven grouse in a gale of wind with No. 8
shot, which you had brought out by mistake. You may object that you
never, as a matter of fact, did this execution, never having even shot
at all with No. 8. Tush! you are puling. If you are going to let a
conscientious accuracy stand in your way like this, you had better
become dumb when sporting talk is flying about. Of course you must not
exaggerate too much. Only bumptious fools do that, and they are called
liars for their pains. But a _little_ exaggeration, just a _soupcon_
of romance, does no one any harm, while it relieves the prosaic
dullness of the ordinary anecdote. So, swallow your scruples, and
Join the gay throng
That goes talking along,
For we'll all go romancing to-day.
(_To be continued._)
* * * * *
DOE VERSUS ROE(DENT).
["The basements of the Royal Courts of Justice have lately
been invaded by swarms of mice. They have become very
audacious, and have penetrated into the Courts themselves,
whose walls are lined with legal volumes, the leaves of which
provide them with a rich feast."--_Daily Paper_.]
For students of the law to "eat
Their terms" is obviously right,
But to devour the books themselves
Is impolite.
Unfortunately Mr. STREET.
Who planned the legal edif-[=i]ce,
Designed a splendid trap for men,
But not for mice.
To view the Courts at midnight now,
The Courts all in the stilly Strand,
With rodents squeaking out their pleas,
That _would_ be grand!
No Ushers 'ush them; they consume
The stiffest calf you ever saw,
Developing, these curious beasts,
A taste for Law.
They fill--perhaps--the box wherein,
Twelve bothered men have often sat,
And try, with every proper form,
Some absent cat.
A fore-mouse probably they choose,
The culprit's advocate deride,
And fix upon that cat the guilt
Of mouseycide.
At the Refreshment-bars, perchance,
They eat the cakes, and drink the milk,
And in the Robing-room indulge
In "taking silk."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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