_Socialist_. "Ah!--it's all very well yer looking at _Me_, with yer Smiles AND yer Jeers...."] * * * * * DE CORONA. ["The shape of the hat is another token in which individuality asserts itself, and the angle at which it is worn. There are men who vary this angle with their different moods."--_Article on "Men's Dress," Daily News, Sept. 10._] You ask why I gaze with devotion At ALGERNON's features, my love? Nay, you are astray in your notion, My glance is directed above; His hair may be yellow or ruddy, No longer I'm anxious for that, But now I incessantly study The tilt of his hat. At times it will carelessly dangle With an air of aesthetic repose, At others will point to an angle Inclined to the tip of his nose; When it rests on the side of his head, he Will smile at whatever befalls, When pushed o'er his brow, we make ready For numerous squalls! When he starts for his train to the City It is put on exactly upright, And who would not view it with pity Return, mud-bespattered, at night? When early, so polished and glowing, Jammed on at haphazard when late; It forms a barometer, showing His mood up to date. And you, who are young and unmarried, Give heed to my counsel, I pray; Do not, I entreat you, be carried By wealth or affection away; The heroine, novelists mention, "Eyes fondly his features." Instead, Observe, for _your_ part, with attention, The hat on his head! * * * * * A NEW COLLECTION OF _HIMS_, ANCIENT AND MODERN.--The Church Congress at Folkestone. * * * * * LADY GAY'S SELECTIONS. _Mount Street, Grosvenor Square._ DEAR MR. PUNCH, We were not overcrowded last week at Newmarket, and really the more one takes racing from a business point of view, the more attractive it becomes!--at least, I have found it so myself ever since it has been my duty to acquire information for the benefit of my readers. There was only one thing that annoyed me during the week, and that was the inconsiderate behaviour of _Windgall_ in winning the October Handicap, although it was a most extraordinary confirmation of my remarks anent his performance in the Leicester Handicap, in my last letter; but it _is_ annoying that, when you select a horse to win a race, he runs _second_, and directly after wins a race for which he is _not_ selected, beating the horse chosen by a length!--it puzzles me completely, as it is impossible in this case to put it down to want of good breeding! We were sorry not to have the _Buccaneer-Orvieto_ match decided, as it would have been the event of the meeting; but, as the old proverb runs, "a wise owner is merciful to his beast," so _Orvieto_ had an afternoon's rest at the price of L100!--rather more than some people might be inclined to pay for a game of forfeits!