"'This handsome Villa Residence' Means mud-built walls and clay-clogged walks; And drains offensive to the sense, And swamps whence fever stalks. "Beauty's best friends I drive away, Artists who sketch, ramblers who rove, Lovers who spoon, children who play,-- All, all who Nature love. "Nor do I give them wholesome homes For verdant meads--no, there's the fun! Stuccodom, frail and sickly, comes After 'Lot Twenty-One!' "I make a clearing, dig a trench, Run up a shell of rotten bricks. And thus the rule of sham and stench Upon the 'site' I fix. "The ugly and unhealthy still Associate with the name of Jerry; And thus I work my wicked will, And flourish, and make merry!" 'Twas so the Jerry-Jabberwock Sang in a suburb, void of shame, Blunderland's civic will to mock, And put its sense to shame. This ogre of our towns to slay, Where is the urban "Beamish Boy"? CARROLL, when comes that "frabjous day," _We_'ll "chortle in our joy." Young County Council, are _you_ one? 'Tis said you're but a Bumble-batch! Beware the Jobjob Bird, and shun The Bigot-Bandersnatch! We'll pardon much that seems absurd, Excuse some blunders that bewilder, If you'll but "draw your vorpal sword" And slay--the Jerry-Builder! * * * * * [Illustration: METAMORPHOSIS. ("_We know what we are, but we know not what we may be._") _Conductor_. "TAKE YER TO THE CIRCUS, AND THERE YOU'LL CHANGE INTO A HELEPHANT." _Master Kenneth_. "OH, MOTHER, WHAT A JOLLY CIRCUS! MAY WE GO AND SEE THE OLD GENTLEMAN CHANGE INTO AN ELEPHANT?"] * * * * * THE MODERN MERCURY. [Illustration] Behold that urchin, occupied In counting with an honest pride The marbles he has won! O tardy messenger of fate, Without distinction, small and great, Their telegrams, perforce, await Until your game is done. Perchance a philosophic strain Makes you regard as wholly vain Our human bliss and woes; What matters, whether State affairs, Or news of good, or weighty carts, Or tidings relative to shares Within your bag repose? Well, not by me will you be blamed; I like to see you not ashamed To dawdle for awhile; You furnish, by example sage, A moral for our busy age; And so, though others fume and rage, I watch you with a smile. He moves at length, and now we'll see Which way ... This telegram for me? Oh, worst of human crimes Is such delay!--it's monstrous quite! I'll forward a complaint to-night! Here, pen and paper--let me write A letter to the _Times_! * * * * * MRS. RAM was heard to remark that she "didn't know a finer body of men than the Yokel Loamanry." Probably the old lady meant the Local Yeomanry. * * * * * LETTERS TO ABSTRACTIONS. NO. XVI.--TO YOUTHFULNESS.