JEAMES has doffed them "'orrid knee-things;" Plush gives way to tweed and socks; And a hamper with the tea-things, Fills his place upon the box; With MARIA, JANE, and HEMMA, He is playing archest games, And they're in the sweet dilemma, Who shall make the most of JAMES. Mr. COACHMAN smokes his pipe on His accustomed throne of pride, And, through driving, keeps an eye 'pon All the revellers inside. Mrs. COACHMAN there is seated; Children twain are on her lapped, Who alternately are treated, And alternately are slapped. While the painters haunt your mansion, And you're "_H_up" "The _H_alps" or "Rhind," Your domestics find expansion In diversions of the kind; And on such a day as this is, They will drink the health at Kew, Of "The Master and the Missis, And their bloomin' kerridge too!" * * * * * THE PALLIUM AND ARCHIEPISCOPAL OATH CONTROVERSY IN THE "TIMES."--No wonder this is a very dry subject, when they've got such a strong THURST-ON among them. Our advice, by way of moistening it, is, "Drop it!" * * * * * "CLERGY FEES" (_see "Times" Correspondence_).--_Growl of the Archiepiscopal Ogre & Co._:-- "_Fee_, fi, fo, fum! I smell the coin of a Clergyman! Hath he fat glebe, be he ill-fee'd, ill-fed, I'll grab his fees to butter my bread!" * * * * * A NIGHTLY CHEVALIER. Music-Hall Artists are not by any means "Fixed Stars." During the evening they manage to accomplish the somewhat paradoxical-sounding feat of shining in the same parts, yet in different places and at different times, appearing everywhere with undiminished brilliancy. The Student of the Music-Hall Planetary system, has only by observation to ascertain the exact time and place of the appearance of his favourite bright particular Star, and then to pay his money, take his choice between sitting and standing, and like a true astronomer, he will--glass in hand, a strong glass too,--await the great event of the evening, calmly and contentedly. If the Wirtuous Westender wandering down the Strand, after having on some previous nights exhausted the Pavilion and the elaborately gorgeous Variety Shows given at the Empire and Alhambra, seeks for awhile a resting-place wherein to enjoy his postprandial cigar, and be amused, if such an one will drop into the classic Tivoli, he will find excellent entertainment, that is as long as their present programme holds the field. The Holborn and the Oxford may delight him on other nights, for it seems that much the same Stars shine all around; but for the present, taking Tivoli as synonymous with Tibur, he may, with Horation humour, say to himself ("himself" being not a bad audience as a rule):-- "Holborn Tibur amem ventosus, Tivoli Holborn,"