E-text prepared by Malcolm Farmer, William Flis, and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this file which includes the original illustrations. See 15332-h.htm or 15332-h.zip: (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/5/3/3/15332/15332-h/15332-h.htm) or (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/5/3/3/15332/15332-h.zip) PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI VOL. 103 SEPTEMBER 17, 1892 HEARING HIMSELF. (_MYSTERIOUS MEM. FROM A HAWARDEN NOTE-BOOK._) Exceedingly kind and flattering of MAX MUeLLER! "I hope there are but few here present who have never enjoyed the privilege of listening to Mr. GLADSTONE." Ha! ha! He little thought there was _one_ there who had _not_ "enjoyed that privilege." Have enjoyed most privileges in my time, but never that of "hearing myself as others hear me"--more or less. "Unavoidable absence of Mr. GLADSTONE!" Ho! ho! Then my disguise _was_ perfect. Get myself up as a Liberal Unionist, with wig and eye-glass. Not likely anybody would recognise me in _that_ rig. Rather enjoyed myself--and my paper, "Phoenician Elements in the Homeric Poems." Most seductive title! Such a _popular_ touch about it! Think I shall have it printed as a "leaflet" for distribution among Workmen's Clubs and Radical Associations. Might conciliate those well-meaning but illogical Eight-Hour Men. Wonder if KEIRHARDIE would like a copy. What more nicely calculated to cheer the scant leisure of Labour? Funny to hear my own sinuous sentences coming back to me from mouth of another. Not quite sure MAX is so "fascinating in his voice, and so persuasive in his delivery" as--but no matter. Can't say--as MAX did--"I felt myself carried away, and convinced almost against my will." Not at all! Wonder what he meant by that? Why "against his will"? That's what Liberal Unionists, and other preposterous and illogical opponents of mine say in House, when they compliment me on my "eloquence," _and then vote against me!_ Absurd! Wish they'd drop their compliments and vote straight. "Small and exotic contribution" to Oriental Congress! Neat description of paper running to nearly four columns of _Times_. "Intense sentiment of nationality, which led the Greeks of later days to covet the title of Autochthones." Wonder if that reminded MAX, or anyone else, of _another_ race with "an intense sentiment of nationality," and a passionate love of the land from which they sprang. Wonder whether, if Nationalists were to call themselves "Auctochthones" instead of Home-Rulers, we should get along better? Must consult JUSTIN on this point. Should have to teach some of them to _pronounce_ their new name, though. "Autochthones," spoken in wrath, with a rich brogue, after dinner, would, I should think, beat Phillippopolis, or "Ri' l'il, ti' li'l Isl'l" hollow.