I'll wed some woman, prim of face, Who'll duly fill the housewife's place, And with her hard, domestic grace Illusions scatter; But sometimes when the stars are full, While at my season'd pipe I pull, I'll see my little love once more, With brilliant lovers by the score, Whose tributes flatter. And, thinking of the light gone by, Murmur with philosophic sigh, "It doesn't matter." And then, perchance, this fan you'll find, When all the new romance is over. Sweet, may you ne'er with troubled mind Half wish you never had resigned, Your truest lover. * * * * * Last week, Dr. ADLER gave, as appears by the extracts, an excellent Lecture on "Jewish Wit and Humour." He himself is well known as the _The Jew d'Esprit_. * * * * * TEMPORARY CHANGE OF NAME.--Will Poplar Hospital be styled, "Un-pop'lar Hospital?" * * * * * "THE VERY LATEST." ["A Cookery Autograph-book is the last idea. Each friend is supposed to write a practical recipe for a dainty dish above his or her signature." _The Graphic._] [Illustration] No, MABEL, no;--though your behest I always heed with rapt attention, Most fervently I must protest Against this horrible invention; Your word has hitherto been law, But this appears the final straw! Obedient to imperious looks, I've had to write, at your suggestion, The answers in confession-books To many an idiotic question; I'll vow my favourite tint is blue (The colour mostly worn by you); I'll gladly draw a fancy sketch, I'll make acrostics with elation, I'll write you verses at a stretch, Or give my views on vaccination; But, even to fulfil your wishes, I cannot manufacture dishes! I know, in theory, how to make The matutinal tea and coffee, And, when at school, I used to bake A gruesome mess described as toffee; But these, which form my whole _cuisine_, Are scarce the kind of thing you mean. Of course I'd learn some more by heart, If this could gain me your affection, But fear the anguish on your part Produced by faulty recollection; On me, my MABEL, please to look As lover only--not as Cook! * * * * * CRINOLINE. [Illustration]