_Fiendish Little Boy_ (_to Elderly Gentleman, who has come a cropper for the fourth time in a hundred yards_). "'ERE I SAY, GUVN'OR, YOU'RE FAIR, WALLERIN' IN IT THIS MORNIN'! H'ANYONE 'UD THINK AS YOU'D BIN HORDERED IT BY YOUR MEDICAL MAN!!!"] * * * * * THE NEXT EGYPTIAN LESSON. SCENE--_Interior of the Sanctum of the_ Young KHEDIVE. _Present, his Highness. To him enter the_ British Representative. _British Rep._ I think your Highness desired to see me? _Khedive._ Certainly, my dear Lord. I wish to express once again my great regret that I could have done, or said, or thought anything without taking your advice. You have quite forgiven me? _Brit. Rep._ (_in a tone of respectful annoyance_). Thank you very much, your Highness; but as I am exceptionally busy this morning, I think, if you have nothing more to say to me, I will do myself the honour of taking my departure. _Khe._ Oh no--a thousand times, no! Are you not aware that I am very European in tastes, am fond of books, and have a hobby in a small aquarium? _British Rep._ So I have read, your Highness, in a London evening paper. And now, if you will permit me, I will---- _Khe._ Oh no--don't go, I promised you I would consult you in every important matter--and I mean to keep my word. _British Rep._ I am glad to hear your Highness say so; and I can answer for Her Majesty's Government being extremely gratified at the report of this conversation. I shall make a point of communicating with the Premier forthwith. And now, with your Highness's gracious permission, I will take my leave. _Khe._ What a hurry you are in! I have got a lot of important things to consult you about, and yet you won't wait a moment! I say, it's not treating a fellow fairly! _Brit. Rep._ (_grieved_). I trust your Highness will not repeat that observation after due consideration. But to show you my anxiety to meet your Highness's wishes, I will sacrifice the examination of a promising scheme to make the Nile nine and a half times as productive as it is now, to listen to you. _Khe._ You are very good. Well, what do you think of my dressing-gown? _British Rep._ Capital--in every way capital. But surely you didn't want to talk about that? _Khe._ Oh, yes, I did! Would you advise me to have it trimmed with any more fur? _British Rep._ I should imagine it was more a matter of taste than politics. _Khe._ Oh, hang politics! What do you think about my dressing-gown? Would your Government recommend fur? _British Rep._ I think, under the circumstances, I can act on my own responsibility without further reference to Her Majesty's Government. Yes, by all means, have fur. _Khe._ I am infinitely obliged to you. Fact is, I told my tailor I thought I would have fur, but I did not like to give the order without your advice. _British Rep._ I trust your Highness accepts my assurance that Her Majesty's Government are most anxious to prevent you from appearing in a false position.