_Ent. Publisher._ Why no, my dear Sir. I do not see how _An Oppressed Ophelia_ can be made a safe investment without your entire assistance. Possibly we may treat about your next novel, which I understand you to say is called _An English Hamlet_, on other terms. In the meanwhile, let us hope that _An Oppressed Ophelia_ will be successful. [_Exeunt_ Author _and_ Publisher _severally._ SCENE II.--_The Same. Three months have passed._ Publisher _and_ Author _are discovered discussing the situation._ _Author (gloomily)._ And so you say that _An Oppressed Ophelia_ is a dead failure? _Publisher (more cheerfully)._ Yes, my dear Sir, but do not be distressed. Thanks to my foresight, and your acquiescence in a business-like arrangement, my firm has lost nothing by the transaction. _Author (dryly)._ That I can readily understand! Well, I suppose you have plenty of copies you can give back to me? _Publisher._ Well, scarcely. You see the Londoners did not take up your book very warmly; but we have made an arrangement to dispose of the rest of the issue in the country at a considerable reduction. _Author._ And _An English Hamlet_? _Publisher._ We shall be glad to produce on the same terms! [_Exeunt_ Author _and_ Publisher _severally._ SCENE III.--_Interior of the Circulating Library at Slocum-Pogis-on-the-Stodge._ Author _and_ Female Librarian _discovered_. _Author._ Well, if you haven't got the popular novels I have already mentioned, I will have a book by RIDER HAGGARD, STEVENSON, MEREDITH, or RUDYARD KIPLING. _Librarian._ All out, Sir. Won't you have something else? _Author._ Well, an amusing volume of travels or recollections. Can you recommend one? _Librarian._ We did have several books of that kind in the Season, Sir, but just now our stock is a little low. _Author (nettled)._ Why, I don't believe you have a book in the shop. You seem to be out of everything! _Librarian._ Oh, yes, we have, Sir. Here, for instance, is one of this year's novels. It's called _An Oppressed Ophelia_. _Author (pleased)._ Oh, you have got that, have you? _Librarian._ Got it! Why, the whole place is full of them! To tell you the truth, Sir, it came down by mistake. We ordered books by BLACK, MEREDITH, STEVENSON, and the rest of them, and they sent us back, by accident, I suppose, a dozen copies of _An Oppressed Ophelia_. If you would like it, Sir, I will look you out a copy with some of the leaves cut. _Author (shortly)._ No, thankee, I've read it! [_Exit._ _Librarian._ Dear me, what an odd gentleman! He's the first as has read _An Oppressed Ophelia_, although I have had it in the shop these six months! [_Scene closes in upon her astonishment._ * * * * * Illustration: A Man of Letters. *** Illustration: "Question time." *** Illustration: The "Seasonable" Lawyer. *** "SOME TALK OF ALEXANDER."