And even my path to a tranquil tomb is barred While that oath continues to bind; For a coffin and funeral car will be somewhat hard For a faithful adherent to find-- When already each undertaker has left a card With his terms and "inquiries kind"! X. So you see, Mr. WILLIAM BLACK, what a mess I've made! And you'll own my dilemmas are due To the oath which I took when I followed your precious crusade. If its terms were drafted by _you_, You may know some ingenious means their effect to evade-- Kindly drop me a line if you do! * * * * * TO BLACKHAM'S BOYS. (_The Australian Cricketers have arrived in England._) WELCOME, JOHN MCCARTHY BLACKHAM, And his boys! 'Tis safe to back 'em, GIFFEN, BANNERMAN, and TURNER, To teach BULL--a cheerful learner! Austral Cricket "up to date." BRUCE and TRUMBLE--rather late-- Owing to Lutetia's charms! Soon will join their chums in arms. LYONS and M'LEOD are ready; Dashing GEORGE and ALEC steady, And the others, prompt to pitch 'em (Stumps) on the old sward at Mitcham. _Punch_ will wish you all fair weather, And fair luck! Now, all together!!! May we meet 'em oft--and whack 'em Fairly--these brave boys of BLACKHAM! * * * * * HABEAS CORPUS SUSPENDED.--What is wanted just now is a _"J bez Corpus" Act_. * * * * * [Illustration: "SCOT-FREE." _Sir Henry Hawkins_ (_to Justice_). "_I_ CAN'T TOUCH THEM. IT'S TIME _YOU_ DID!" (_See next page._)] * * * * * AN AIRY NOTHING.--According to a Radical paper "the poor man's tobacco pays 10-1/2_d._ in the shilling to taxation, while the rich man's cigar pays only 1/2_d._ in the shilling to taxation." This may be very true, but is the question worth discussing? It is sure to end in smoke! * * * * * HOW THEY ARE SERVED IN SERVIA.--Among some interesting items, a telegram informed us how "the Young King presided at a Council of Ministers. The ceremonial is the same as during his father's time, only two guards stand at the door, and _refreshments are handed round at short intervals_." The italics are ours. Rather! What a pleasant Cabinet Council. Why isn't the convivial plan adopted here? Mr. G., in the chair, would knock the table with the hammer every ten minutes and call out, "Give your orders, Gents! the Waiter's in the room!" A real Harmonious Meeting. * * * * * [Illustration: "WITHOUT PREJUDICE." _Miss Jeannie_ (_to Elderly Spinster_). "I'M GLAD MAUD IS GOING TO BE MARRIED TO SIR GUY. I'M SURE THEY'LL BE HAPPY, THEY'RE SO WELL MATCHED!" _Elderly Spinster aforesaid_ (_who has had her eye on Sir Guy for the last two years_). "I DON'T AT ALL AGREE WITH YOU. SIR GUY WOULD HAVE DONE FAR BETTER TO HAVE CHOSEN ONE OF HIS OWN HEIGHT!"]