With this decuman "heat-wave" I grow delirious, And babble a prayer to the Maid who sways The Weather-department (on working-days) Of the _Daily Graphic_--in crazy phrase-- The bale-fire to quench of far-distant Sirius! To the Man in the Moon at noon I croon For a lunatic boon, if that lone buffoon Can stay this canicular, perpendicular, Bang-on-my-forehead, horrid, torrid, Beaming, gleaming, and ever-streaming Blaze of rays that maze and daze!! * * * * * ROBERT AT THE MANSHUN HOUSE. I have long nown as how as the present LORD MARE was one of the werry nicest, as well as one of the werry liberallists, of Lord Mares as we has had for many years, but I most suttenly did not kno, till larst Saturday, that, noticing, as he must have done, how shamefoolly the County Counsellors is a trying for to destroy the grand old Copperation, and take pusession of Gildhal and the Manshun House, he had the courage to assemble round his ospiterbel Table all the most princiblest of the great writers of our wunderful and powerful Press, and let them judge for theirselves whether sich a hinstitootion as he represented was worth preserwin or not! Ah, that was sumthink like a Bankwet that was! Why amost eweryboddy was there as was anyboddy. And the ony trubble as that caused was, that they was all so jolly glad to meet each other, under sitch unusual suckemstances, that nothink on airth coud keep em quiet, no, not ewen when the Amerrycan Embassader torked to em for about arf a nour! One of the most distinguist of the skollars as I was waiting on told one of the most butiful Painters, in my hearing, as how he thort it wood be rayther a wise thing of all future Lord Mares if they himmitated the present LORD MARE'S exampel; and I wentur, with all umility, to say Ditto to the distinguisht Skoller. ROBERT. * * * * * GE-O-M-ETRICALLY CONSIDERED.--The illuminations were as good as they could be everywhere. The brilliant initials, "G. M.," wanted nothing to render them perfect. If that want had been supplied, then, as "nothing" is represented by a cipher, the initials would have commemorated the G. _O._ M. * * * * * FROM HENLEY TO THE OPERA ON THE NIGHT OF THE STATE PERFORMANCE.--"Rich and rare were the gems they wore;" and two ladies, with magnificent tiaras, if they had only shown up at Henley, would have won the prize for "_The Diamond Skulls_." * * * * * Mrs. R. caught sight of a heading in a daily paper--"Board of Trade Returns." Our old friend at once exclaimed. "Then where has the Board of Trade been to? Where is it returning from? I really don't call this attending to business." * * * * * [Illustration: A DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE.