_Young Squire (snatching Plan from his grasp and gazing angrily thereon)._ Aha! A veritable Castle in the Air! An Arabian Nights' Phantom Palace!! The House that Jack (in Office) _would have_ built!!! (_Tears it, and treads it under foot._) Nay, Sir Steward, thou hast much misunderstood thy trust. The housing of the poor, rather than of the rich, is thy prime function. Attend first to this little list of Metropolitan Improvements, which cannot be unfamiliar to thine ears and eyes. Or if _they_ must perforce be postponed until the attainment of "a fairer adjustment of the incidence of taxation," prythee, _à fortiori_, postpone also until that uncertain date this precious scheme for an expensive Municipal Palace, and this premature and impudent assault upon an already sufficiently depleted Pocket! _I. but B. R. (clasping her hands in gratitude)._ Ah, thanks, noble youth! Heaven reward thee for thy magnanimous championship of the poor gyurl's purse! _Steward (aside)._ Foiled!!! But no mattah! a time will come!!! (_Curtain._) * * * * * "M. G." AND "G. M."--The first whispered proposal is, we believe, generally formulated thus, "May I then hope? May I?" But H.R.H. the Duke of YORK'S proposal must have been even more simple than this, for hope being changed into certainty, there was only the whispered question, "MAY GEORGE?" and the gentle answer, "GEORGE MAY." Then--all ended happily. * * * * * THE POLICE PHRASE-BOOK. AS USED IN FRANCE. I have no time to answer questions. The slightest protest will mean arrest. You will cause me to draw my sword. I have a loaded revolver. We must take that barricade. We must obtain the help of the army. We can assist bayonets with bullets. We have no cause to succour the wounded. We must preserve order. And, to do this, we cry, "Long live France! Fire upon any one! Charge!" AS USED IN ENGLAND. The first turning to the left. Sir, and then keep straight on until you meet another constable--then ask again. You have taken too much; you had better go home quietly. Shall I call a cab? Now don't forget you are a gentleman, Sir, but help me to do my duty. Now, coachman, wait a moment. Must let these pass before you can come. We don't want any help, Sir. Why the crowd's as meek as sheep and as good natured as sandboys. Here, Sir, you have had an awkward tumble. Let me hold you up while my mate goes for an ambulance. We must preserve order. And to do this we have only to observe "move on." * * * * * PARLIAMENTARY.--Change of name. Mr. CONYBEARE henceforth to be known as "CONYBORE," with the accent on the "_bore_." * * * * * [Illustration: TOO AWFUL TO CONTEMPLATE! _A Confidence. After the Garden Party_.