_Mr. Sibbering_ (_who has never "taken to"_ PORPENTINE). Well, he's had a sharp lesson,--there's no denying that. _Mr. Cocker._ Precisely, and it occurs to me that when he--ah--returns to public life, it would be a kind thing, and a graceful thing, and a thing he would--ah--appreciate in the spirit it was intended, if we were to present him with some little token of our sympathy and unabated esteem--what do you fellers think? _Mr. Filk._ A most excellent suggestion, if my friend here will allow me to say so. I, for one, shall be proud to contribute to so worthy an object. _Mr. Balch._ I don't see why we shouldn't present him with an address--'ave it illuminated, and framed and glazed; sort of thing he could 'ang up and 'and down to his children after him as an _heirloom_, y' know. _Mr. Sibb._ I don't like to throw cold water on any proposition, but if you want _my_ opinion, I must say I see no necessity for making a public thing of it in that way. _Mr. Cocker._ I'm with SIBBERING there. The less fuss there is about it, the better PORPENTINE'll be pleased. My idea is to give him something of daily use--a _useful_ thing, y' know. _Mr. Balch._ Useful _or_ ornamental. Why not his own portrait? There's many an artist who would do him in oils, and guarantee a likeness, frame included, for a five-pound note. _Mr. Sibb._ If it's to be like PORPENTINE, it certainly won't be _ornamental_, whatever else it is. _Mr. Filk._ It can't be denied that he is remarkably plain in the face. We'd better, as our friend Mr. COCKCROFT here proposes, make it something of daily use--a good serviceable silk umberella now--that's _always_ appropriate. _Mr. Sibb._ To make up for the one he broke over the collector's head, eh? that's _appropriate_ enough! _Mr. Cocker._ No, no; you mean well, FILKINS, but you must see yourself, on reflection, that there would be a certain want of--ah--good taste in giving him a thing like that under the circumstances. I should suggest something like a hatstand--a handsome one, of course. I happen to know that he has nothing in the passage at present but a row of pegs. _Mr. Sibb._ I should have thought he'd been taken down enough pegs already. [Illustration: "Well, he's had a sharp lesson,--there's no denying that."] _Mr. Filk. (who resents the imputation upon his taste)._ I can't say what the width of Mr. PORPENTINE'S passage may be, never having been privileged with an invitation to pass the threshold, but unless it's wider than ours is, he couldn't get a hatstand in if he tried, and if my friend COCKCROFT will excuse the remark, I see no sense--to say nothing of good taste, about which perhaps I mayn't be qualified to pass an opinion--in giving him an article he's got no room for.