Produced by Malcolm Farmer Lesley Halamek, and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net * * * * * Punch, or the London Charivari Volume 105, November 18th 1893 _edited by Sir Francis Burnand_ * * * * * "THE PAPER OF THE DAY AFTER TO-MORROW." [In one of the magazines an entire article has been transmitted to the office, not by the post, but by mental suggestion.--_News paragraph._] SCENE--_Editor's Room of "The Mental Mirror of the Universe."_ TIME--_An hour before publication._ Editor _and_ Chief-Sub. _discovered in consultation_. _Editor._ Dear me, Mr. PAYSTE, this is very annoying! Debate on Africa in the House to-night, and our leader-writer has sent in no copy! Why did you not communicate with me? _Chief-Sub._ Well, Sir, as you were dining with the Duke, I did not like to disturb you, especially as I had arranged matters. I have got some one else to knock off the article. _Ed._ Very good, and where does it come from? _Chief-Sub._ I turned on the mentophone and found Lord MACAULAY disengaged. _Ed._ Of course he writes smartly enough, but I should have thought he was scarcely sufficiently well-up in the subject. _Chief-Sub._ So he said, Sir: so we applied to Sir WALTER RALEIGH, who has sent in a good column. _Ed._ His English, I am afraid, is a trifle old-fashioned. _Chief Sub._ Well, yes, Sir; a little. But I gave it to one of our subs. who has made black letter a study, and between them they have turned out a very decent leader. Sorry to say the wire has broken down between London and the seat of the war, so we have no despatches. _Ed._ Distinctly annoying! However, I think I can put myself in communication with our special. (_Takes a pen in his right hand, and commences writing._) Well, what next? _Chief Sub._ But shall I not disturb you? _Ed._ Not at all; my right hand is in sympathy with LONGBOW, so I need not pay any attention to what he is sending us until he gets to the end of his copy. Everything else right? _Chief Sub._ I think I may venture to say "Yes," Sir. Mrs. COVERS, who does our reviews, has neglected to send in her stuff, but I have used the mentophone again in that case. Put on CHARLES LAMB. And I think that's all, save, as there is a letter about the authorship of _Hamlet_, I have got WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE to answer it himself. And now, Sir, I would suggest that, as we are rather full up this evening, you might conclude that dispatch as quickly as possible. _Ed._ My hand has just done writing. (_Gives copy to_ Chief Sub.) Anything worth a line for the bill? _Chief Sub._ (_after perusal_). Well, yes, Sir. I find there has been a battle, so we may as well give that. _Ed._ Everything right now? _Chief Sub._ Everything, Sir.