This Public Water Examiner, "With legal right of entry," Should right the wrong of this Dragon strong, And o'er river-rights stand sentry. More of More Hall was nothing at all For a balladist to brag on, Compared with our Knight of the Watering Pot-- _If he'll slay our River Dragon!_ * * * * * [Illustration: "QUITE AT HOME." _Podgers (who is somehow managing to spend his holiday at a Country House for the shooting)._ "WELL, SPEAKING OF BOOTS, SIR JOHN, YOU SEE THESE SHOES I HAVE ON. THEY COST ME EXACTLY FOUR-AND-SIXPENCE. _NOW I DARE SAY YOU GAVE TWICE AS MUCH FOR YOURS?_"] * * * * * STRICTLY ENTRE NOUS (_communicated by Sir Ben Trovato_).--Quite recently Mr. CONDIE STEPHEN had the honour of dining with Her Majesty at Balmoral. He expressed himself highly pleased with a certain port wine at dessert. Sir ALGERNON "of that ilk" suggested that a bin of it should be put by in the Royal cellars, to be kept specially for Mr. STEPHEN'S visits, and labelled "_Condie's Fluid_." * * * * * TURPIN AND TRAINS. Railway travelling in Chicago must be pleasant. "The express train to New York," says Dalziel's Express in the _Times_ of the 13th, "on the Lake Shore Railway was stopped by robbers about 140 miles east of Chicago." Twenty robbers, masked, did the business, killing the engine driver, and blowing open the express compartment of the car with dynamite! When travelling by steam was introduced we congratulated ourselves on our roads being freed from DICK TURPIN, PAUL CLIFFORD, and Co.; and with steamers, Atlantic liners, and so forth, it was presumed that the last had been heard of PAUL JONES and the Red Rover. But can this immunity be any longer guaranteed? May we not in due course expect to hear of "A P. and O. steamer robbed on the High Seas by a Pirate Craft," or "The Bath Express stopped soon after leaving Swindon by PAUL CLIFFORD, jun., and his gang of desperadoes"? * * * * * SOMETHING LIKE A CENTENARIAN.--The _Daily Chronicle_ gives a most useful summary of notable events for every day in the week. Here is one to be quoted as ever memorable, which appeared on Wednesday, Sept. 20:-- "Battle of Newbury. Lord Falkland killed, 1643. Bishop John Gauden died, 1662. Battle of Valmy, 1792. _Sir Edward James Reed, K.C.B., born, 1630!!_ Battle of the Alma, 1854." We congratulate Sir EDWARD on having attained his Two-hundred-and-sixty-third birthday!! The oldest inhabitant isn't in it with him. * * * * * UNDER THE ROSE. (_A Story in Scenes._) SCENE V.--_A General Waiting-room at Clapham Junction._ CURPHEW _is leaning against the mantelpiece_. Mr. TOOVEY _is seated on one of the horsehair chairs against the wall_.