_Und._ (_almost foaming_). The insolence of these cursed aristocrats! Lady CULVERIN will see me when she has time, forsooth! I am to be entertained in the servants' hall! _This_ is how our upper classes honour poetry! I won't stay a single hour under their infernal roof. I'll walk. But where _to_? And how about my luggage? [PHILLIPSON _returns._ _Phill._ Mr. TREDWELL says you want to go already! It _can't_ be true! Without even waiting for supper? _Und._ (_gloomily_). Why should I wait for supper in this house? _Phill._ Well, _I_ shall be there; I don't know if _that_'s any inducement. [_She looks down._ _Und._ (_to himself_). She is a singularly bewitching creature; and I'm starving. Why _shouldn't_ I stay--if only to shame these CULVERINS? It will be an experience--a study in life. I can always go afterwards. I _will_ stay. (_Aloud._) You little know the sacrifice you ask of me, but enough; I give way. We shall meet--(_with a gulp_)--in the housekeeper's room! _Phill._ (_highly amused_). You _are_ a comical little man. You'll be the death of me if you go on like that! [_She flits away._ _Und._ (_alone_). I feel disposed to be the death of _somebody!_ Oh, Lady MAISIE MULL, to what a bathos have you lured your poet by your artless flattery--a banquet with your aunt's butler! * * * * * [Illustration: ARTFUL. _Mamma (to Johnny, who has been given a Pear with Pills artfully concealed in it)._ "WELL, DEAR, HAVE YOU FINISHED YOUR PEAR?" _Johnny._ "YES, MAMMA, ALL BUT THE SEEDS!"] * * * * * A BETTING MAN ON CRICKET. Cricket may be a _game_, but I can't call it sport, For "the odds" at it aren't to be reckoned. There the last's often first ere you come into port, While the first is quite frequently second. There was Surrey, you see, slap a-top o' the tree, While Sussex was bang at the bottom. But, thanks to the in-and-out form of the three, You _never_ know when you have got 'em! For when I backed Surrey with cheerful content. Why Kent walloped Surrey, and Sussex whopped Kent!!! * * * * * OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.