Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 107, August 18, 1894Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 107, August 18, 1894
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Capt. Thick. (to himself)._ Can't even speak of him without a change of
colour. Bad sign that! (_Aloud._) You always _were_ keen about poetry
and literature and that in the old days, weren't you? Used to rag me for
not readin' enough. But I do now. I was readin' a book only last week.
I'll tell you the name if you give me a minute to think--book
everybody's readin' just now--no end of a clever book.
[Miss SPELWANE _rushes across to_ Lady MAISIE.
_Miss Spelw._ MAISIE, dear, how are you? You look _so_ tired!
That's the journey, I suppose. (_Whispering._) Do tell me--is that
really the author of _Andromeda_ drinking tea close by? You're a
_great_ friend of his, I know. Do be a dear, and introduce him to me!
I declare the dogs have made friends with him already. Poets have
such a wonderful attraction for animals, haven't they?
[Lady MAISIE _has to bring_ SPURRELL _up and introduce him:_ Captain
THICKNESSE _chooses to consider himself dismissed_.
_Miss Spelw. (with shy adoration)._ Oh, Mr. SPURRELL, I feel as if I
_must_ talk to you about _Andromeda_. I _did_ so admire it!
_Spurr. (to himself)._ Another of 'em! They seem uncommonly sweet on
"bulls" in this house! (_Aloud._) Very glad to hear you say so, I'm
sure. I've seen nothing to touch her myself. I don't know if you noticed
all her points----?
_Miss Spelw._ Indeed, I believe none of them were lost upon me; but my
poor little praise must seem so worthless and ignorant!
_Spurr. (indulgently)._ Oh, I wouldn't say _that_. I find some ladies
very knowing about these things. I'm having a picture done of her.
_Miss Spelw._ Are you really? _How_ delightful! As a frontispiece?
_Spurr._ Eh? Oh no--full length, and sideways--so as to show her legs,
you know.
_Miss Spelw._ Her legs? Oh, of _course_--with "her roseal toes cramped."
I thought that such a _wonderful_ touch!
_Spurr._ They're not more cramped than they ought to be; she never
turned them _in_, you know!
_Miss Spelw. (mystified)._ I didn't mean that. And now tell me--if it's
not an indiscreet question--when do you expect there'll be another
edition?
_Spurr. (to himself)._ Another addition! _She_'s cadging for a pup now!
(_Aloud._) Oh--er--really--couldn't say.
_Miss Spelw._ I'm sure the first must be disposed of by this time. I
shall look out for the next _so_ eagerly!
_Spurr. (to himself)._ Time I "off"ed it. (_Aloud._) Afraid I can't say
anything definite--and, excuse me leaving you, but I think Lady CULVERIN
is looking my way.
_Miss Spelw._ Oh, by all _means_! (_To herself._) I might as well praise
a pillar-post! And after spending quite half an hour reading him up,
too! I wonder if BERTIE PILLINER was right; but I shall have him all to
myself at dinner.
_Lady Cant._ And where is _Rupert_? too busy of _course_ to come and
say a word! Well, some day he may understand what a sister is--when it's
too late. Ah, here's our nice unassuming young poet coming up to talk to
you. Don't _repel_ him, my dear!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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