Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 107, December 1, 1894Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 107, December 1, 1894
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
VOL. 107.
DECEMBER 1, 1894.
ICHABOD.
As over London Bridge I went
A constable I spied:
His head upon his breast was bent,
Against the parapet he leant,
He gazed upon the stream intent,
And as I passed he sighed.
"What ails thee, officer?" I cried
In sympathetic tone.
"What sorrow in thy soul is bred?
Nay, never shake thy mournful head,
But tell me of thy woes instead--
Thou shalt not weep alone."
He eyed me for a moment's space
In half-suspicious doubt;
But reading not a single trace
Of aught but pity in my face,
He told me of his hapless case
And poured his sorrows out.
"Time was, not many months ago"--
His voice began to quiver--
"When, in a stately march and slow,
The tide of traffic used to flow
In floods as full as that below"--
He pointed to the river.
"From early dawn to dewy night
It still blocked up the way:
The creaking wain, the hansom light,
The gaudy bus, in colours bright,
The gilded coach, the buggy slight,
And e'en the donkey-shay.
"Amid the throng I took my stand,
I watched them come and go.
Anon the serried lines I scanned,
Anon I raised a warning hand,
And lo! at my supreme command
The flood forgot to flow!
"The bus, the cab, the coach, the fly,
Were motionless and still.
In all the crowds that passed me by
Was no one of degree so high
That dared my sovereignty defy,
Or disobey my will.
"The hansom hasting on her way
Paused when she heard my call.
The coster checked his donkey-shay,
The gartered lord his prancing bay--
All, all were subject to my sway,
My word was law to all.
"Alas! alas! 'tis thus no more!
Gone is my pride and power!
Where thousands passed in days of yore
Across the bridge, we've scarce a score,
For now the tides of traffic pour
Round by the busy Tower.
"And I am left to mourn alone
The glories that are fled.
None heed me now--alas! not one!
My life is lived! my day is done!
_Othello's_ occupation's gone--
Ah! would that I were dead!"
He ceased. The manly voice broke down.
I could no longer stay,
But, as I hurried off to town,
I pressed upon him half-a-crown,
And joyed to see the hopeless frown
Die for a while away.
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE ADVANTAGE OF HIGHER EDUCATION.
_Eton Boy (who has come to see his Brother at Harrow)._ "I SAY, THESE
FLOODS ARE STUNNING! WE'RE ALL SENT HOME, FOUR WEEKS BEFORE THE TIME!"
_Harrow Boy (gloomily)._ "I WISH TO GOODNESS THE GOV'NOR HAD SENT _ME_
TO ETON. WE'RE UP ON A BEASTLY HILL HERE, AN' NO CHANCE OF ANY
FLOODS!"]
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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