Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 107, December 1, 1894 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 107, December 1, 1894Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 107, December 1, 1894
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Und._ (_recovering his sang-froid_). I am hardly likely to have heard
of it from any other quarter.
_Lady Maisie._ Of course not. And did he tell you that she was here, in
this very house?
_Und._ No, he never mentioned _that_. What a singular coincidence!
_Lady Maisie._ Yes, rather. The worst of it is that the foolish girl
seems to have heard that he was a guest here, and jumped to the
conclusion that he had ceased to care for her; so she revenged herself
by a desperate flirtation with some worthless wretch she met in the
Housekeeper's Room, whose flattery and admiration, I'm very much
afraid, have completely turned her head!
_Und._ (_uncomfortably_). Ah, well, she must learn to forget him, and
no doubt, in time---- How wonderful the pale sunlight is on that yew
hedge!
_Lady Maisie._ You are not very sympathetic! I should not have told you
at all, only I wanted to show you that if poor Mr. SPURRELL _did_
innocently usurp your place, he may have lost---- But I see all this
only bores you.
_Und._ Candidly, Lady MAISIE, I can't affect a very keen interest in
the--er--gossip of the Housekeeper's Room. Indeed I am rather surprised
that _you_ should condescend to listen to----
_Lady Maisie_ (_to herself_). This is really _too_ much! (_Aloud._) It
never occurred to me that I was "condescending" in taking an interest
in a pretty and wayward girl who happens to be my maid. But then I'm
not a Democrat, Mr. BLAIR.
_Und._ I--I'm afraid you construed my remark as a rebuke; which it was
not at all intended to be.
_Lady Maisie._ It would have been rather uncalled for if it had been,
wouldn't it? (_Observing his growing uneasiness._) I'm afraid you don't
find this bench quite comfortable?
_Und._ I--er--moderately so. (_To himself._) There's a female figure
coming down the terrace steps. It's horribly like---- But that must be
my morbid fancy; still, if I can get Lady MAISIE away, just in case----
(_Aloud._) D--don't you think sitting still becomes a
little--er--monotonous after a time? Couldn't we----
[_He rises, spasmodically._
_Lady Maisie_ (_rising too_). Certainly; we have sat here quite long
enough. It is time we went back.
_Und._ (_to himself_). We shall meet her! and I'm almost sure it's----
I _must_ prevent any---- (_Aloud._) Not _back_, Lady MAISIE! You--you
promised to show me the orchid-house--you did, indeed!
_Lady Maisie._ Very well; we can go in, if you care about orchids. It's
on our way back.
_Und._ (_to himself_). This is too awful! It _is_ that girl PHILLIPSON.
She is looking for somebody! Me! (_Aloud._) On second thoughts, I don't
think I _do_ care to see the orchids. I detest them; they are weird
unnatural extravagant things. Let us turn back and see if there are any
snowdrops on the lawn behind that hedge. I love the snowdrop, it is so
trustful and innocent, with its pure green-veined---- _Do_ come and
search for snowdrops!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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