Punch, Or the London Charivari, Volume 107, December 8th, 1894Various
General
Punch, Or the London Charivari, Volume 107, December 8th, 1894
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Lady Maisie_ (_puzzled_). She is very clever at mending lace, I know,
though what _that_ has to do with it----
_Und._ Listen to me, Lady MAISIE. I came to this house at your
bidding. Yes, but for your written appeal, I should have treated the
invitation I received from your Aunt with silent contempt. Had I obeyed
my first impulse and ignored it, I should have been spared humiliations
and indignities which ought rather to excite your pity than--than any
other sensation. Think--try to realise what my feelings must have been
when I found myself expected by the butler here to sit down to supper
with him and the upper servants in the Housekeeper's Room!
_Lady Maisie_ (_shocked_). Oh, Mr. BLAIR! Indeed, I had
no----You weren't _really!_ How _could_ they? What _did_ you say?
_Und._ (_haughtily_). I believe I let him know my opinion of the
snobbery of his employers in treating a guest of theirs so cavalierly.
[Illustration: "How very sweet of you, Mr. Blair. Are they really for
me?"]
_Lady Maisie_ (_distressed_). But surely--_surely_ you couldn't suppose
that my Uncle and Aunt were capable of----?
_Und._ What else _could_ I suppose under the circumstances? It is true
I have since learnt that I was mistaken in this particular instance;
but I am not ignorant of the ingrained contempt you Aristocrats have
for all who live by exercising their intellect--the bitter scorn of
Birth for Brains!
_Lady Maisie._ I am afraid the--the contempt is all on the other side;
but if _that_ is how you feel about it, I don't wonder that you were
indignant.
_Und._ Indignant! I was _furious_. In fact, nothing would have induced
me to sit down to supper at all, if it hadn't been for----
_Lady Maisie_ (_in a small voice_). Then, you _did_ sit down? With the
servants! Oh, Mr. BLAIR!
_Und._ I thought you were already aware of it. Yes, Lady
MAISIE, I endured even that. But (_with magnanimity_) you must
not distress yourself about it now. If _I_ can forget it, surely you
can do so!
_Lady Maisie._ Can I? That _you_ should have consented, for any
consideration whatever; how could you--how _could_ you?
_Und._ (_to himself_). She admires me all the more for it. But I _knew_
she would take the right view! (_Aloud, with pathos._) I was only
compelled by absolute starvation. I had had an unusually light lunch,
and I was so hungry!
_Lady Maisie_ (_after a pause_). That explains it, of course.... I hope
they gave you a good supper!
_Und._ Excellent, thank you. Indeed, I was astonished at the variety
and even luxury of the table. There was a pyramid of quails----
_Lady Maisie._ I am pleased to hear it. But I thought there was
something you were going to explain.
_Und._ I have been _endeavouring_ to explain to the best of my ability
that if I have undesignedly been the cause of--er--a temporary
diversion in the state of Miss PHILLIPSON'S affections, no one
could regret more deeply than I that the--er--ordinary amenities of the
supper-table should have been mistaken for----
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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