Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 107, July 21st 1894Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 107, July 21st 1894
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Q._ Is the new site of the National Rifle Association better than the
last?
_A._ Certainly, for those who come to Bisley intend to shoot.
_Q._ But did any one turn up at Wimbledon for any purpose other than
marksmanship?
_A._ Yes, for many of those who occupied the tents used their _marquees_
merely as a suitable resting-place for light refreshments.
_Q._ Is there anything of that kind at Bisley?
_A._ Not much, as the nearest place of interest is a crematorium, and
the most beautiful grounds in the neighbourhood belong to a cemetery.
_Q._ Then the business of Bisley is shooting?
_A._ Distinctly. Without the rifle, the place would be as melancholy as
its companion spot, Woking.
_Q._ In this place of useful work, what is the first object of the
marksman?
_A._ To score heavily, if possible; but, at any rate, to score.
_Q._ Is it necessary to appear in uniform?
_A._ That depends upon the regulations commanding the prize
competitions.
_Q._ What is uniform?
_A._ As much or as little of the dress of a corps that a judge will
order a marksman to adopt.
_Q._ If some marksmen were paraded with their own corps, how would they
look?
_A._ They would appear to be a sorry sight.
_Q._ Why would they appear to be a sorry sight?
_A._ Because over a tunic would appear a straw hat, and under a
pouch-belt fancy tweed trousers.
_Q._ But surely if the Volunteers are anxious to improve themselves they
will practise "smartness"?
_A._ But they do not want to promote smartness; they want to win cups,
or the value of cups.
_Q._ What is the greatest reward that a marksman can obtain?
_A._ Some hundreds of pounds.
_Q._ And the smallest?
_A._ A dozen of somebody's champagne, or a box of someone else's soap.
_Q._ Under all the circumstances of the case, what would be an
appropriate rule for Bisley?
_A._ Look after the cup-winning, and everything else will take care of
itself.
* * * * *
LATEST PARLIAMENTARY BETTING.
GENERAL ELECTION STAKES.
2 to 1 on Rosebery and Ladas (coupled).
25 to 1 agst Harcourt's Resignation.
50 to 1 -- Nonconformist Conscience.
70 to 1 -- Budget Bill (off--75 to 1 taken).
100 to 1 -- Ministerial Programme.
FOR PLACES (NEXT SESSION STAKES).
2 to 1 on Asquith for the Leadership.
12 to 1 agst the Labouchere Peerage.
NEW PREMIERSHIP SELLING STAKES.
12 to 1 on Gladstone Redivivus.
200 to 1 agst any other.
* * * * *
AS WE LIKE IT.
(JAQUES _resumes_.)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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