JAMES SPURRELL, M.R.C.V.S., _enters with his friend_, THOMAS TANRAKE, _of_ HURDELL AND TANRAKE, _Job and Riding Masters, Mayfair_. _Spurrell._ Yes, it's lucky for me old SPAVIN being laid up like this--gives me a regular little outing, do you see? going down to a swell place like this Wyvern Court, and being put up there for a day or two! I shouldn't wonder if they do you very well in the housekeeper's room. (_To_ Clerk.) Give me a _Pink 'Un_ and last week's _Dog Fancier's Guide_. _Clerk._ We've returned the unsold copies. Could give you _this_ week's; or there's _The Rabbit and Poultry Breeder's Journal_. _Spurr._ Oh, rabbits be blowed! (To TANRAKE.) I wanted you to see that notice they put in of _Andromeda_ and me, with my photo and all; it said she was the best bull-bitch they'd seen for many a day, and fully deserved her first prize. _Tanrake._ She's a rare good bitch, and no mistake. But what made you call her such an outlandish name? _Spurr._ Well, I _was_ going to call her _Sal_; but a chap at the College thought the other would look more stylish if I ever meant to exhibit her. _Andromeda_ was one of them Roman goddesses, you know. _Tanr._ Oh, I knew _that_ right enough. Come and have a drink before you start--just for luck--not that you want _that_. _Spurr._ I'm lucky enough in most things, TOM; in everything except love. I told you about that girl, you know--EMMA--and my being as good as engaged to her, and then, all of a sudden, she went off abroad and I've never seen or had a line from her since. Can't call _that_ luck, you know. Well, I won't say no to a glass of something. [_They disappear into the Refreshment Room._ _The_ Countess of CANTIRE _enters with her daughter_, Lady MAISIE MULL. _Lady Cantire_ (_to_ Footman). Get a compartment for us, and two foot-warmers, and a second-class as near ours as you can for PHILLIPSON; then come back here. Stay, I'd better give you PHILLIPSON'S ticket. (_The_ Footman _disappears in the crowd._) Now we must get something to read on the journey. (_To_ Clerk.) I want a book of some sort--no rubbish, mind; something serious and improving, and _not_ a work of fiction. _Clerk._ Exactly so, Ma'am. Let me see. Ah, here's _Alone with the 'Airy Ainoo_. How would you like _that_? _Lady Cant._ (_with decision_). I should not like it at all. _Clerk._ I quite understand. Well, I can give you _Three 'Undred Ways of Dressing the Cold Mutton_--useful little book for a family, redooced to one and ninepence. _Lady Cant._ Thank you. I think I will wait until I am reduced to one and ninepence. _Clerk._ Precisely. What do you say to _Seven 'Undred Side-splitters for Sixpence_? 'Ighly yumorous, I assure you.