After all, if they do get at my bones, the real marrow of me has transmigrated into the New Woman. Sir, there _were_ New Women in my day. We invented everything. I see the _Daily Telegraph_ says they have found a pellet. That reminds me that after the death of my late husband, PRASUTAGUS, King of the Iceni (not to be confused with the PLIOCENI of about the same period), I was subjected to the most revolting barbarity at the hands of the Veterans (their name was legionary), and I was obliged to invent a pellet-proof corset. Then, again, we held all the commissions in the army. How does TACITUS report my famous speech to the Queen Consort's Own Regiment of Pioneers (new style)? "_Vincendum illa acie vel cadendum esse. Id mulieri destinatum. Viverent viri et servirent._" Let the men live on in slavery! What a prophetic utterance! By the way, not many Emancipated Women of the present day could speak better Latin than that. Indeed, we took all the University degrees. I myself was an honorary _felo de se_. Don't tell me that I am prehistoric, and that TACITUS was a forger of the fourteenth century. No testimony is sacred now-a-days, not even the most profane! I conclude with a passage from Madame SARAH GRAY, which I think comes in rather well. Beneath this storied hump there lies concealed A heart once pregnant with a Righteous Plan, Hands that the rod of Empire used to wield, And whacked to ecstasy the human Man. Dear _Mr. Punch_, may you live for ever; or, failing that, may no rude spoiler mar your "animated bust." Excuse these disjointed remarks, but I am writing in a barrow. Yours, in the spirit, BOADICEA. P.S.--I have thought of a proverb. New Women should be put into new _tumuli_. * * * * * A GAY WIDOW COURTED. [Illustration]