Odds bombs and torpedoes! An oath, like a whistle, Will keep up the courage--Dutch courage at least! I feel like a hero of grandeur and gristle Who goes to the fight as men go to a feast. Sir LUCIUS has wrought me to't--fire-eater furious. Odds bullets and blades, how he'll bristle and whisk! Yes, courage _is_ catching. And yet--it is curious, He urges the task without weighing the risk. That's just like O'TRIGGER, a swaggering swigger Of fiery potheen which gets into his head! At patience and caution he'll swear or he'll snigger, His only resources steel, powder and lead. He thinks he has managed the business most cleverly, Bull-making bully of Blunderbuss Hall; But zounds. That big burly and black-bearded--BEVERLEY, Is not a foe to pooh-pooh! Not at all! Odds jigs and tabors! Such bellicose neighbours Are horridly awkward; they will force one's hand, A chap who unceasingly brags and belabours Is valued, no doubt, in a Donnybrook band; But swelling Drawcansir demeanour won't answer On this side the Channel so well as on that. O'TRIGGER'S a mixture of Scorpio and Cancer, And BULL is less sweet on that blend than is PAT. It's just a tremendous, big, bothersome business,-- _That's_ what it is! But I'm in for it now. _I_ feel a dizziness. O'TRIGGER'S fizziness Leads all his friends into mischief and row. Still, I'm committed; and much to be pitied, As clearly they'd see if they had any _nous_. But odds popguns and peashooters! shall I be twitted With caution extreme, and the pluck of a mouse? No, that will _not_ do. I my courage must muster. Whatever the odds, FIGHTING BOB must show fight! So here goes a buster, though bluster and fluster Are not in my line; yet "indite, Sirs, indite!" I'll begin with a--swear-word and end with defiance! Odds daggers and darts, how I'll hector and frown! My friends on my valour may now place reliance, The challenge is sent, Sirs, the gauntlet is down!!! * * * * * [Illustration: "THE CHALLENGE." _Sir Lucius O'Trigger (the Irish Party)._ "THEN SURE YOU KNOW WHAT IS TO BE DONE?" _Bob Acres (L-rd R-s-b-ry)._ "WHAT! FIGHT HIM?... ODDS FLINTS, PANS AND TRIGGERS! _I'LL CHALLENGE HIM DIRECTLY!_"] * * * * * THE SCHOOL-BOARD APPLE-PIE. (_Adapted for the Board School Infant Classes._)