She rang for fresh tea. The crumpets were crystal-cold. She tasted one, and had a qualm, as if her sympathies were getting enlarged. For a moment she wondered what a headache such as she had read about in books could be like. The next, she was down by the trout-stream, familiar in all she-notes, and lay there gurgling with gutturals. The peculiarity of CHAMOIS HYDE was that he could not bear making other people--college dons, for instance--ridiculous. About himself it did not so much matter. Oxford had succeeded Eton, and hard on the heels of a good degree had come a cropper in the hunting-field, a nurse, a complicated kiss, a proposal, marriage, disillusionment, in the order named. A poorer, singler man, with the same prancing tip-toe spirit, would have lost all sense of decency, and written a book. But being rich, and, by profession, married, he also was on his way to the usual trout-stream. Which was a thousand pities, and comes into the next chapter. * * * * * [Illustration: "ALL'S WELL!" _Cockney Volunteer_ (_on Sentry go_). "HALT! WHO GOES THERE?" _Rustic._ "IT'S ALL ROIGHT, MAN. OI COOMS ALONG 'ERE EV'RY MAARNIN'!"] * * * * * [Illustration] PROVERB FOR CHAPERONS. Flirts of a feather spoon together; Amorous pairs flock on the stairs. * * * * * JAP AND CHIN.--"What a curious metamorphosis!" writes to us our esteemed contributor-at-a-distance, HERR VON SAGEFRIED. "Herr John Chinaman is suing for peace! so that the Chinese party becomes the real _Chap-on-knees_!" * * * * * COMMENT BY A LABOUCHERIAN.--Resolutions cannot be made with ROSEBERY. * * * * * THE NEW MAN.--Woman. * * * * * [Illustration: _Minister._ "OH DEAR, NO, JAMES. THERE'LL BE NO NECESSITY FOR WHISKY IN HEAVEN." _Parishioner (dubiously)._ "NECESSITY OR NO NECESSITY, I MAUN SAY I AYE LIKE TO SEE IT ON THE TABLE!"] * * * * * THE CHRONICLES OF A RURAL PARISH. II.--THE PUBLIC MEETING.