It is exceptionally good. Scenery, music, general stage management, and incidental music all excellent. Mrs. JOHN WOOD first-rate, as good as ever, and Miss ALMA STANLEY greatly distinguishes herself. So does Mr. CARTWRIGHT as the most matter-of-fact villain that "in this distressful country has ever yet been seen." When he murders, or ruins, or seriously inconveniences anyone, he observes _sotto voce_ to himself, in a tone that would be equally appropriate were he thanking an omnibus conductor for giving him change for sixpence, "I thought I should do it." Then Mr. ARTHUR BOURCHIER and Miss BEATRICE LAMB as My Lord and My Lady could not be better. And Miss PATTIE BROWNE, Miss L. MOODIE, and Miss HETTIE DENE, all the right people in the right places, as are both Mr. GEORGE GIDDENS and Mr. LIONEL RIGNOLD. To sum up, _The Derby Winner_ has won, and Sir DRURIOLANUS has more than satisfied his enthusiastic backers the public, and he and they will have a real good run for their money. [Illustration: "Sold!"] * * * * * IF NOT, WHY NOT? ["SARAH GRAND has contributed an article on 'Should irascible Old Gentlemen be taught to Knit?' to the forthcoming issue of '_Phil May's Winter Annual_.'"--_Evening paper_, October 2.] This will shortly be followed by a series of papers on the following subjects:--"Shall hysterical Old Ladies be encouraged to smoke?" "Should elderly, short-tempered Dowagers be permitted to use bad language?" "Shall Octogenarian Barmaids be obliged to flirt?" "May decayed Duchesses play pitch-and-toss?" "Shall Professional Beauties of a certain age be compulsorily retired?" "Are Burlesque Actresses of over forty years' standing to attend Sunday-school?" "May Ballet-girls teach their grand-children to knit?" "Should cross-eyed Viscountesses catch flies?" "Ought Old Girls generally to make use of slang?" "Should _Prima donnas_ in their dotage wear blue pinafores?" "Can the 'Shirt-front Brigade' be taught 'good form'?" "May Lady Novelists dispense with the historic present?" "Should much-married Adventuresses read _The Family Herald_? "May timid Gentlewomen join the Pioneer Club?" And "Is not the New Woman played out?" * * * * * [Illustration: A BACKWARD CROP. _Young Mr. Green (who wants a Hunter for the coming Season)._ "YA--AS; BUT HE'S GOT SUCH A SEEDY TAIL!" _Dealer._ "SEEDY? AH, THAT'S IT! JUST GERMINATIN', IT IS. WANT O' SUNSHINE, YER SEE. LOR' BLESS Y', THINGS IS MOSTLY BIN A BIT BACKARD THIS SEASON!"] * * * * * "I'M GETTING A BIG GIRL NOW!" (SONG FOR MISS UNIFIED LONDON.) AIR--"_I'm Getting a Big Girl Now!_"