Bedad, 'twas meself was as plaised as could be When they tould me the vote had bin given to me. "St. Pathrick," ses Oi, "Oi'm a gintleman too, An' Oi'll doine ivry day off a grand Oirish stew." The words was scarce seen slippin' off of me tongue When who but the Colonel comes walkin' along! "Begorrah, 'tis callin' he's afther, the bhoy, Oi'm a gintleman now wid a vingeance," ses Oi. The Colonel come in wid an affable air, An' he sat down quite natteral-loike in a chair. "So, RORY," ses he, "'tis a vote ye've got now?" "That's thrue though ye ses it," ses Oi, wid a bow. "Deloighted!" ses he, "'tis meself that is g'ad, For shure ye're disarvin' it, RORY me lad. An' how are ye goin' to use it?" ses he, "Ye could scarcely do betther than give it to me." Oi stared at the Colonel, amazed wid surprise. "What! Give it away, Sorr?--Me vote, Sorr?" Oi cries. "D'ye think that Oi've waited ontil Oi am gray, An' now Oi'm jist goin' to give it away?" The Colonel he chuckled, an "RORY," ses he. But "No, Sorr," Oi answers, "ye don't diddle me." Thin he hum'd an' he haw'd, an' he started agin, But he'd met wid his equal in RORY O'FLYNN. Thin the smoile died away, an' a frown come instead, But for all that he tould me, Oi jist shook me head, An' he gnawed his moustache, an' he cursed an' he swore, But the more that he argued, Oi shook it the more. Thin he called me a dolt an' an ignorant fool, An' he said that Oi ought to go back to the school, An' he flew in a rage an' wint black in the face, An' he flung in a hullaballoo from the place. Bedad, Oi was startled. Him beggin' me vote, An' he'd three of his own too!--The gradiness o't! Ye could scarcely belave it onless it was thrue, An' him sittin' oop for a gintleman too! Was it betther he thought he could use it than Oi? Begorrah, Oi'll show he's mistaken, me bhoy. Oi'll hang it oop over me mantlepace shelf, For now that Oi've got it, Oi'll kape it meself. * * * * * THE ZUYDER ZEE.--"Wha' be the Zider Zee?" repeated a Devonian farmer. "Why, I always thought as the Zee of Exeter were the Zider Zee. Ain't it pratty well in the middle o' Zider Country?" * * * * * [Illustration: IMPROVEMENTS IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS. I.--PROPOSED HAIR-DRESSING ROOM. "A series of alterations has, during the recess, been in active progress within the Houses of Parliament," &c.... "Space will be set apart to provide dressing-room accommodation and a hair-dressing saloon."--_Times_, _Wednesday, October 17._] * * * * * MAYENNAISE VERSUS MAYONNAISE. (_Vide last Number of "Punch."_) Dear _Punch_, your praise Of Mayonnaise Is certainly most telling: But don't it seem That such a theme Deserves the proper spelling?