BABY BEAUMONT heard him say to his valet, "Take away that eau-de-cologne--it's corked." He seems to think himself ill, though he looks blooming; and says he has neurasthenia. He's always going through some "course," or "treatment." One hears him cry to the footman who hands him a forbidden dish, "Good Heavens, my dear man, don't offer me _that_--I'm under JOWLES!" [Illustration] We wanted to act _The School for Scandal_, but CISSY has persuaded us to get up a burlesque of his own--_Red Riding Hood_. I am to be _Red Riding Hood_!!! I am delighted. I have never acted before; but they say I have only to trip on with a basket. BABY declared he would be a Proud Sister. In vain he was told there were no Proud Sisters in _Red Riding Hood;_ he seemed to have set his heart on it so much that CISSY has written one in for him. Now BABY is happy, designing himself a gorgeous frock, and passing hours in front of a looking-glass, trying various patterns against his complexion. All the strength of the piece falls upon CISSY, who plays the _Wolf_, and has given himself any amount of songs and dances, lots of "serious interest," and all the "comic relief." He says it's not an ordinary burlesque, but a mixture of a problem play and a comic opera. Captain MASHINGTON is to play the Mother, so I see a good deal of him. (The LORNE HOPPERS are in Scotland). We had had sixteen rehearsals when LADY TAYMER suddenly horrified us by saying it seemed so much trouble--why not give it up, and if we wanted a little fun, black our faces and pretend to be niggers!! Of course, we would not listen to her. I hear Captain MASHINGTON rehearsing his part every morning, quietly, in the billiard-room. He never can remember the lines "Good bye, my dear, now mind you're very good, And shun the dangers lurking in the wood." He thinks the mother ought to kiss _Red Riding Hood_ before she starts. _I_ think _not_. We asked CISSY. He says it's optional.... CISSY rose with the owl to-day, and said he was not well. A little later he came and told us complacently that he had been looking it up in the Encyclopedia, and found he had "every symptom of _acute_ lead-poisoning." He added that there was nothing to be done. "I thought there was something wrong with you yesterday," said BABY. "You declined all nourishment between lunch and tea." "By the way," said CISSY, pretending not to hear, "MASHINGTON really is not quite light enough for the Mother. You should persuade him to go through a course, Miss GLADYS." "He's just been through a course," I said, "at Hythe." "My dear lady, I don't mean musketry. He ought to consult CASTLE JONES, the specialist. No soup, no bread, no potatoes--saccharine. What are _you_ allowed?" turning to BABY, who was sitting on a window seat eating _marrons-glacés_ out of a paper-bag.