The moral of which would seem to be that, since even conversation is now reported, silence is more golden than ever; though _Mr. Punch_ notices that the PRIME MINISTER showed rare diplomacy in his choice of a subject. Not even a reporter could extract any political meaning out of the sport of seal shooting! [Illustration: SWEET SIMPLICITY. _Diffident Man (who does not know to how much of an Ingénue he is talking)._ "HAVE YOU BEEN OUT LONG, MISS GRACE?" _Miss Grace (consulting her wrist-strap)._ "OH, ABOUT THREE-QUARTERS OF AN HOUR. YOU SEE WE WERE ASKED TO COME PUNCTUALLY."] * * * * * VERY NEAR.--The _Record_ has been taking Mr. HALL CAINE to task for the baptismal scene in _The Manxman_, and the novelist has been telling the _Record_ to remember its Rubrics. "Mr. CAINE," says the _Record_, "has been in a hurry." The _Record_ lost a chance, as, evidently expecting a storm of fury, it should have deprecated the author's anger by saying, "Don't be in a hurry-CAINE." * * * * * "TERRIBLE IN HIS ANGER!" MR. J-ST-N MCC-RTHY (_reading the speech of the German Emperor to the Mayor of Thorn_). "For you know, I can be very disagreeable too!" _Ah! and so can I--when I like!_ I CAN BE VERY NASTY, WHEN I LIKE! (_The Song of a Mouton Enragé._) ["I own that I am sorry that a louder, and a stronger, and a prompter note of reassurance has not been given to the Irish people with regard to this obstructive power of the House of Lords, and that I look to the Autumn Campaign with anxious hope for a clear and certain signal."--_Mr. Justin McCarthy in the "New Review."_] _Enraged (and enrhumé) Leader, with his feet in "hot water," sings:--_ Yes, I'b wud with the yug Ebperor id this-- Extreebs--as has beed ofted said--_do_ beet! (_Wow!_ this water, I declare, is od the hiss, Id is very hot iddeed to by poor feet!) By cowd is beastly troublesub, at tibes; But, although I ab as patied as poor Sbike, I'b bowd to kick whed subwud galls by kibes; Ad I _cad_ be very darsty, whed I like! Yug WILLIAB fides it needful to speak out, Ad, like that Hebrew persod id the play, He _cad_ be "very darsty," there's no doubt; Ad so cad I, of course id by owd way. A buttud's wudrous angry _whed_ aroused. Ad if those Liberals sell be, I shall strike. Owd Oirelad has so freaquadly bid choused-- Ad Pats cad be very darsty, whed they like! Bister BORLEY we all dow, and _he_'s all right, Ad SHAW-LEFEVRE's sowd upod the goose; Sir WILLIAB "is a fighter"--will he fight?-- Yug ROSEBERY--well, jokes are dot _buch_ use. That ASQUITH's dot a fascidatig bad, As hard as dails, plaid-spokud as a pike! I wish agaidst the Lords they had sub _plad_,-- Oh I cad be very darsty, _whed_ I like.